Twitter Reacts To Glastonbury
The fabulous tweets of people who have been appraising the festival from the comfort of their sofas…
Monday 8am, Update
And the Mumford & Sons reviews are in…
Hope Mumford and Sons play that one that goes slow for a bit then dead fast with a banjo.
— Jason Cook (@jasonmarkcook) June 30, 2013
My wife just said she quite likes Mumford & Sons. I could have done without digging up the patio at this time on a Sunday night.
— moanup (@moanup) June 30, 2013
“Mumford And Sons” is what David Cameron calls his cock and balls #Glasto #nbury
— Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) June 30, 2013
Every time the camera pans into the crowd of people watching Mumford and sons you see people that cry during sex.
— Jamie East (@mrjamieeast) June 30, 2013
I’m a huge Mumford & Sons fan. By ‘a huge’ I mean ‘deworming’, and by ‘Mumford & Sons fan’ I mean ‘the cat’.
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) June 30, 2013
I’m hearing that Mumford & Sons ‘smashed it’ at Glastonbury. I’m hoping they mean that fucking mandolin.
— Benedict Farse (@BenedictFarse) July 1, 2013
Is there another Twitter for those of us who secretly quite like Mumford and Sons a bit…
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) June 30, 2013
Say what you like about Mumford & Sons but they do harmonised eye-closing better than any band around.
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 30, 2013
When Mumford are helicoptered to their mansions later after headlining Glastonbury they’d better not check Twitter or they’ll be devastated.
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) June 30, 2013
The Mumford fans and haters are calling a truce at the stoke of midnight to play football in no-mans-lands behind the Glastonbury portaloos.
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) June 30, 2013
Mumford and Sons songs you might like include ‘Listen To My Dark Green Corduroys’, ‘Fanny Whistle’, ‘Shirts Of Flannel’, ‘Spunkbunting’.
— Smersh McGurk (@ncguk) June 30, 2013
People power can achieve anything. http://t.co/LtEY9ukibZ pic.twitter.com/1b2ukk6QqO
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 30, 2013
6pm, Sunday Update
Quickly – while all the white people are at Glastonbury bring all your family over from Pakistan.
— Mr Khan (@therealmrkhan) June 30, 2013
Bruce Forsyth got 3 stars in the Guardian for his set at Glastonbury. This is such an exciting time in music right now.
— Al Murray (@ajhmurray) June 30, 2013
I’m on my way to Heathrow to get away from the Glastonbury coverage.
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) June 30, 2013
for every false Daft Punk secret set rumour an orphaned robot dies #glastonbury
— Kimberly Murrell (@Ri0tgrrrl) June 30, 2013
Thought Glastonbury was having a shocker, then realised I was watching Songs Of Praise.
— Nick de Semlyen (@NickdeSemlyen) June 30, 2013
The perfect outfit if your parents are #Glastonbury going hippies pic.twitter.com/ysr4NhissW
— HeardinLondon (@HeardinLondon) June 30, 2013
To make Glastonbury viewing more fun this year two men with non ironic beards have been hidden somewhere in the crowd. Can you spot them?
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) June 28, 2013
Re-enact Mumford And Sons’ music by merely kicking a mandolin into a fucking tumble drier and stubbing cigars out on your tongue. — Jürgen McKlopp (@neurosceptic) June 28, 2013
In the 70s, colourful blouses & sequined jackets made the Stones look subversive & edgy. Now it makes them look like the Golden Girls.
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 29, 2013
Sunday, 8am Update
The only time I ever went to Glastonbury, I saw Andrew Marr dancing with his shirt tucked into his jeans. Not been back — Damon Green (@damongreenITV) June 29, 2013
Who IS this dreary pub turn stinking up Glastonbury right now? Absolutely the worst. Cue BBC hosts saying “amazing”. — Danny Baker (@prodnose) June 29, 2013
Haim. What happens when a hipster throws up on a tambourine. #Glastonbury — Miss L (@ProResting) June 29, 2013
Sod Glastonbury, I’m hosting my own festival. It’s called Suburbia; you just sit in your garden alone drinking gin in complete silence. — Rory Sutherland (@rorysutherland) June 29, 2013
RECREATE the Glastonbury experience by playing the Rolling Stones in your kitchen and listening from a puddle two streets away. @TheBathBird — Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) June 29, 2013
For a lot of the crowd at Glastonbury, it must be good to connect the primark tshirt of a pair of lips to an actual band. — Thundercock (@ZiggyRoswell) June 29, 2013
25 more years before I start feeling bad about never having headlined Glastonbury. — Graham Linehan (@Glinner) June 29, 2013
Moves like Jagger is now something a careworker writes on a physiotherapy report #bbcglasto — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 29, 2013
Replicate the Rolling Stones Glastonbury costumes tonight by covering yourself in glue and running through the Oxfam shop. — Simon from Harlow (@simonfromharlow) June 29, 2013
GLASTONBURY News:- the entire front row of the Rolling Stones Gig got taken hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat. — Anon MP (@Anon_MP) June 30, 2013
Very funny that ITV have scheduled Space Cowboys opposite the Stones at Glastonbury. — Jack Whitehall (@jackwhitehall) June 29, 2013
The Stones always have the finger on the pulse. Just in case. — Tweeeeed (@Tweeeeed) June 29, 2013
Jagger looks like an insect doing some sort of mad mating ritual surrounded by a strange coven of gypsy dustmen. #glastonbury — Bert (@BertFlange) June 29, 2013
Charlie Watts has the permanent look of Dot Cotton being made to watch animal porn. — David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) June 29, 2013
The Stones having a well earned post show pint. #glastonbury pic.twitter.com/mTs0KGwsYy — Nick Gavrilovic (@nickgavrilovic) June 29, 2013
My dad once saw Mick Jagger in a petrol station. Claims he filled his car in an ‘attention seeking manner’. — Mathilda Gregory (@mathildia) June 29, 2013
The Rolling Stones are more of a Henge now, surely? — Cal Bryant (@oddsocket) June 29, 2013
Only at Glastonbury would you see this… pic.twitter.com/viKS2tiEB6 — Joe Chambers (@ChambersTweets) June 29, 2013
Heading to #glastonbury ~ despite the heatwave my red wellies are ON! @RollingStones pic.twitter.com/Tzr0uyyb8T — Ronnie Wood (@ronniewood) June 29, 2013
Saturday, 6pm Update
Kate Moss has arrived at #Glastonbury! Poor love seems to have bad hayfever, though. She’s all red-eyed and sniffly 🙁 — Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) June 29, 2013
Mick Jagger’s doing excited lunges in his Glastonbury yurt, as the bowl of yellow M&M’s and hairless cat on a velvet pillow are delivered. — Dan (@NewConnArtist) June 29, 2013
At Glastonbury in my tent , I mean watching Glastonbury I’m my tent in my garden #loser pic.twitter.com/5GGmx6sRMd — Michael (@mickmarshall) June 29, 2013
Tonight is all about the elder statesmen. Fellas who wrote rock’s rule book and defined a generation. Fucking LOVE Chase and Status #glasto — Completeledge (@Fuckingledge) June 29, 2013
Shall we all freak the Stones out and hide behind a tree when they’re about to come on? #glasto — Pete Paphides (@petepaphides) June 29, 2013
It’s all kicking off at Glastonbury – somebody has just bought a soy latte from the organic coffee stall without donating to Gift Aid. — Ben (@utterben) June 28, 2013
Pyramid Stage: A non-sustainable business model promising payment or services rather than supplying any real investment. #glastonbury — Edward Philips (@1755Dictionary) June 28, 2013
Glastonbury highlight pic.twitter.com/G4cubp0CJL — holly walsh (@wiggywalsh) June 29, 2013
Turns out a Beef Wellington is Not actually Glastonbury footwear for a Cow. Frankly Livid about this. — Jon Pigeon (@PigeonJon) June 28, 2013
Saturday, 2.30pm Update
Police say they’ve made 12 arrests for possession of restricted substances at Glastonbury, which tells us they’re not really trying.
— Boothby Graffoe (@boobygraffoe) June 28, 2013
GLASTONBURY FACT – Enough bottled piss will be thrown at Mumford and Sons this weekend to fill 4 olympic sizes swimming pools.
— Random Vitriol (@RandomVitriol) June 28, 2013
The BBC Glastonbury coverage will never feel authentic til their presenters split with their boy/girlfriends, weep, take the wrong pill etc — Miranda Sawyer (@msmirandasawyer) June 29, 2013
If I was at Glastonbury, the fact that I’m shitting into a baked bean tin wouldn’t be weird — moanup (@moanup) June 28, 2013
English weekend: Glastonbury. Scottish weekend: Glassed and buried. — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 27, 2013
Stannah stairlift installed on Glastonbury main stage — Martin Shovel (@MartinShovel) June 29, 2013
The five main stages of Glastonbury are Pyramid, Other, Denial, Bargaining and Acceptance. — Rich Neville (@RichNeville) June 28, 2013
where is EMILE SANDE is she not at glastonbury? is she off to stand outside Mandela’s house? am worried sick where is she? #whereisES — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) June 29, 2013
In years to come nobody will be talking about that time Mumford and Sons played Glastonbury. — Inbetweeneя (@Inbetweener_) June 29, 2013
To get the full #Glastonbury effect, this set by the @ArcticMonkeys should be filmed from the back of a large field by a short person — Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) June 28, 2013
You can choose the luxury option at Glastonbury and go Glamping. But that’s mostly for Glunts.
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) June 28, 2013
Never been to Glastonbury, but once got spazzed off my baps at a recording of “Play Your Cards Right.”
— Andy Dutton (@Andy_Dutton) June 28, 2013
To make Glastonbury viewing more fun this year two men with non ironic beards have been hidden somewhere in the crowd. Can you spot them?
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) June 28, 2013
#mediæval mosh-pit at #Glastonbury with crowd-surfing and stage-diving pic.twitter.com/NkvGvsdk4I
— Matthew Ward (@HistoryNeedsYou) June 20, 2013
A fighter jet just flew over #glastonbury, spilling the falafel from thousands of ethically-sourced plates.
— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) June 27, 2013
And the crowd went mild #foals #glastonbury
— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) June 28, 2013
Stay classy #Glastonbury pic.twitter.com/3F7VatvIfP
— HeardinLondon (@HeardinLondon) June 27, 2013
Arrived at #Glastonbury. Popped out my tent. Slight snag… It’s a wind break. #fml pic.twitter.com/VEQd5k5G7z
— Tom Craine (@TomCraine) June 27, 2013
off to #Glastonbury yeah? pic.twitter.com/eNvjNcNCnH
— Modern Toss (@modern_toss) June 28, 2013
Where’s Wiley #2 pic.twitter.com/36REsb6t30 (via @_leeogden)
— The Poke (@ThePoke) June 28, 2013
Where’s Wiley? pic.twitter.com/oHHCO2NHbl (via @DamJef) #glastonbury
— The Poke (@ThePoke) June 28, 2013
Rapper Wiley can’t handle the Glastonbury grime – here are the highlights of his Twitter meltdown h/t @prancehall pic.twitter.com/RoLqxEXQsj
— The Poke (@ThePoke) June 28, 2013