16 deadpan Jeremy Corbyn jokes that are hilarious when you imagine Jeremy telling them

@Corbynjokes is a genius Twitter account based on the premise that “Jeremy hasn’t heard or told a joke since 1964” and now he’s trying his hand at socialist stand-up.

And it’s utterly WONDERFUL, comrade.

Here’s 16 of the very best:

What’s red and doesn’t move?
Me

A socialist lion walked into a bar, the barman said “what’s the big Clause Four?”

A Putinist, a Baathist, a Stalinist and an anti-semite walked into a bar and the barman said “the Stop The War Christmas party is upstairs”

Two men walked into a bar and held the next meeting of the shadow cabinet.

I’m not saying I have sympathy for David Cameron, but I too have been ridiculed for being too friendly with ham ass.

A man walks into a bar, but it’s not a bar anymore it’s a luxury housing development with prices starting at £595k for a one-bedroom flat.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Neoliberalism.

What have One Direction and the Labour Party got in common?
They’re both splitting up in October.

A horse walked into a bar.
The breakdown of capitalism starts with agrarian chaos.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
The interrupting Marxist
The int…
Revolution!

How many Labour MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
51. Or none. This is a matter for the NEC.

A Marxist, a Marxist-Leninist and a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist walked into a bar.
It’s wonderful to see such variety at this year’s conference.

Why did the pig cross the road?
To avoid David Cameron.

How many shadow ministers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know. The lightbulb tends to outlast them.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
That’s right. Cuts to NHS funding WILL lead to fewer doctors.

I’ve stopped going to my allotment in Islington because it’s a Blairite plot.

Make sure you follow the workers revolution over on: @corbynjokes