People are laughing at the comments on the ridiculous “Shall I buy my child an Easter Egg” Guardian story
As @Michaeljbrannan says, “This is almost peak Guardian. Cheer the fuck up and get the chocolate in, you miserable fun sponge.”
Whereas Lindsey Johnstone says, ‘More than a thousand comments on the Guardian “why should I have to buy my 4-year-old an Easter egg” and could still read them forever’
Let’s go in shall we? And pick the best 11? OK!
1.
“My parents never got us Easter eggs as kids and it didn’t harm us.”
You say that, but you’ve grown into an adult who writes to the Guardian to complain that your wife is making you buy your four year old a chocolate egg, so…
— phaine
2.
I have a similar problem, every year my 4 year old has a birthday and expects a present and even a cake as well!
I don’t know where this rubbish commercial idea has come from and have tried to explain to him what an artificial construct of society this ‘Birthday’ is.
My wife doesn’t agree with me so this year we have compromised and brought him a small lump of coal,
but no cake.— Doesitdarkmatter
3.
Acquire a fresh rabbit corpse, adorn it with a cute bonnet and basket, then lay it in the street in front of your house while a few cars roll over it. When your daughter wakes, excited about what the Easter Bunny has brought, show her the gruesome scene outside. The Bunny is dead – you’ll never have to buy an Easter Egg again!
— Whatthatguysaid
4.
When I was a lad my parents uses to celebrate Easter by starving myself and my brother for 40 days and 40 nights before nailing us to a cross.
We only got to eat our Easter Eggs once we had successfully managed to resurrect ourselves.
Kids these days don’t know they’re born.
— matt1975
5.
The house of party and fun times.
— Succe55
Get her an egg, but poison it, so your child is violently ill, which will teach her a valuable lesson about why sugar is Satan.
— Dominic Floyd
6.
If you don’t she will hate you and become a stripper.
— Muffin 200
7.
Don’t buy her it, but also never let her watch TV, put her friends and Thier parents through a vetting scheme in case some of them eat Macdonald’s or spend too much time on the Xbox. At school make sure your child tells everyone about your rules so that they are in no way bullied or otherwise laughed at.
— Thestinger
8.
I will keep a look out for a letter sent to the Guardian in about 35 years time from a woman who never got an Easter egg when she was little and how it ruined her childhood.
— captainunsensible
9.
Just buy her a small one to stop her getting ova excited ..
— elephantwoman
10.
Buy the egg, but present it with a lecture on the evils of sugar – you can bond with her as you both stamp on it.
— KnightLore
11.
Buy her a fucking easter egg.
— BigDukeSix
If you want more than go an read the comments. There are thousands of them.
Source: Twitter/@MichaelJBrannan