People are sharing the ‘least plausible stories about them that are true’ and here are the 35 best
Someone on Twitter asked people to share the most implausible stories about themselves which were actually true.
https://twitter.com/mhoye/status/1010355444815101953
And fortunately for us the replies did not disappoint. Here are 35 of the very best.
1.
Gillian Anderson shaved my back using hummus, for charity. https://t.co/ppVCwrsV30
— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) June 26, 2018
say what now
— Madeley (@Madeley) June 26, 2018
— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) June 26, 2018
2.
I got onstage at a sex show in Amsterdam and chatted on the revolving bed with the girl while a guy dressed as Batman had sex with her.
We talked about clothes.— Jessica Naipier-Kane (@Crankynewperky) June 24, 2018
3.
I was once escorted to safety in the Australian desert by a pack of wild donkeys. I swear.
— Just This Guy (@justthisguy) June 25, 2018
To clarify, there was absolutely no other human presence or involvement. In the dead of night and the pitch darkness, they just kinda… found me. Surrounded me. Stayed close, occasionally brushing up against me. And walked me to the road about a mile away. I. Was. Terrified.
— Just This Guy (@justthisguy) June 25, 2018
4.
My karate teacher was Chuck Norris’s stunt double.
— Poon Donkus (@poondonkus) June 25, 2018
5.
1) Back in landline days, someone trying to reach me at home misdialed the number by a digit and I happened to be at the location he called. 2) I had a conversation alone with Diana Ross in her kitchen while she was in her nightgown.
— Rutherley🌹 (@Rutherley) June 24, 2018
6.
I once flipped a coin and it landed on its edge.
— David Conrad (@daiconrad) June 25, 2018
Me too, in a High School statistics class, right after asking my teacher about the “edge case” scenario. He said it was so unlikely to happen it wasn’t statistically significant. Furious teacher sent me to the Principal for disrupting class, accusing me of doing it on purpose.
— John Kaster (@JohnKaster) June 25, 2018
DOING IT ON PURPOSE ahahahahahahaha
— Eric Bailey (@EricVBailey) June 25, 2018
7.
I got arrested last month for a video game I didn’t return in 1997.
— Charlie Foxtrot (@thunderchikn) June 25, 2018
What game? 😀
— Stephen Farrell (@Lutzoid) June 25, 2018
NBA Hangtime 64 😂
— Charlie Foxtrot (@thunderchikn) June 25, 2018
Absolutely worth it, great game. 👍
— Zeezy T (@TheZZTX) June 26, 2018
8.
I had an out-of-body-experience when I was 6. I was sleeping at my grandparents’ when I woke up and found myself in my parents’ bedroom. I saw my dad get up to go to the bathroom and hit his knee against the bed. Two days later I asked him “How’s the knee?” and he freaked out.
— Riccardo Mori (@morrick) June 25, 2018
(My parents’ apartment was in a different town, in case it wasn’t clear.)
— Riccardo Mori (@morrick) June 25, 2018
9.
Oh, and I forgot … I have the world’s oldest tooth implant. I was part of the pilot program in ‘75, when I was a kid. My uncle was a dentist and put it in. Every dentist who ever sees me freaks out and says ‘I’ve only seen these things in text books!’. Awesome.
— Chapps (@chapps) June 25, 2018
10.
I was pronounced dead by a doctor at birth, then Revived by a visiting nurse who happened to observing. She pulled my body from his hands said “ Iv done worse” then siphoned fluids from my longs and performed. CPR.
— Noah Beddome (@DomoDoGood) June 25, 2018
11.
I interviewed for head of digital at the BBC when I was 18 because a recruiter messed up and I thought it’d be a laugh.
— ℙeter Cooper (@peterc) June 23, 2018
12.
my mom defended me against a bear by throwing my fisher-price tricycle at it
— 🌟Tim Newport🌟 (@timothy_newport) June 25, 2018
13.
Once, while out with friends, I noticed one of them was missing and grew concerned. I then heard him yell my name and ran in that direction. Found him in a dark corner getting mugged, convinced muggers to gtfo. Friend later said he’d thought about calling out to me me but hadn’t.
— Vanther, or Atronos (@Vanther) June 25, 2018
14.
My life was saved twice, 8 years apart by a simple pale blue cotton bath towel.
2001: used it to defend myself when attacked by 3 knife yielding dope-dealers in the showers of my army unit.
2009: it caught in the 🏨 balcony railings after I slipped and went over. 90m cliff below.— koumdros (@koumdros) June 25, 2018
Was it the same towel both times?
— mhoye (@mhoye) June 25, 2018
Yes it was.
After the second incident I decided to store it, hello torn, for posterity in the bottom a drawer in my closet.To my horror / amusement 4 years later, after I had moved away, my mother found it and cut it up in pieces to mop the garden veranda.
— koumdros (@koumdros) June 25, 2018
Well a towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.
You’re the living prove of that 👏— Mă̋rcelo Elizͣ̑ͧ̊̌̋̍eche Landó (@melizeche) June 25, 2018
15.
The owner of the KGB museum in Prague pointed a gun at me and told me to give him my camera.
— Josh Bowman-Matthews (@lastontheboat) June 23, 2018
We need to know if the camera was handed over, or if Josh flipped him the finger and ran away….
— Michael W (@walsh_maw19622) June 25, 2018
“People have got to start finishing their stories!”
— Syed Meraj Ali (@MerajAly) June 26, 2018
16.
Fell off Mike Oldfield's jetski in Ibiza wearing only my underpants. https://t.co/UmwKuGFEQh
— David Quantick (@quantick) June 25, 2018