An author asked for jokes to kill the boredom in A&E – these 21 are so bad, they’re brilliant
12.
What’s the difference between roast beef & pea soup? You can roast beef but you can’t pea soup. (Not that I’ve turned into my dad or anything…)
— Julian Shea (@juliansheasport) August 10, 2018
13.
A ship carrying blue paint and a ship carrying red paint collided at sea. All the sailors were marooned.
— EmW (@JurgensGlasses) August 10, 2018
14.
How many hours did it take???? Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a sausage in my ear and a chip coming out of my nose.
Doc: You’re not eating properly.— helen cain (@helendaewoo1) August 11, 2018
15.
Archaeologists have discovered an ancient Mummy in Egypt, covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it is the lost tomb of Pharaoh Rocher— Cecilia Scott (@ceciliateachRS) August 10, 2018
16.
Favourite Joke.
What’s round and white and giggles?
A tickled onion.Hope you’re OK and Carlisle is looking after you.
— Clare W (@peetea7) August 10, 2018
There were several quite well-educated ones.
17.
Two atoms are walking along a street. One says “Oh no! I’ve dropped an electron.”
The other asks, ” Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m positive!”Sorry.
— Carol Fry (@CVFry) August 10, 2018
18.
Neutron walks into a bar, asks “How much for a pint?” Barkeep: “For you …. no charge.” (Thank you @CycleNS still loving it)
— Scott Urban (@Urban_Turbo) August 11, 2018
19.
A proton checks in to a hotel.
“Does Sir require assistance with his luggage?”
“No thanks – I’m travelling light”— Colin McCracken (@colinmccrack) August 11, 2018
20.
String theory comes home from work early and catches his wife in bed with another string theory.
Wife says ‘Don’t worry, I can explain everything!’— James Duffy (@jamespatduffy) August 11, 2018
And one that definitely wasn’t.
21.
A man visits the doctor. Doc says, “you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” “Why?” “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
— Roy Allen (@Roy_Allen) August 10, 2018
In case you were worried, Frank added this.
Went home with clean bill of. health, head full of laughter and heart full of gratitude – THANKS to you all this is now a hilarious thread https://t.co/FOsNczJbVs
— Frank Cottrell-Boyce (@frankcottrell_b) August 11, 2018
So it looks like laughter is the best medicine after all.
