These might be the 34 greatest tweets of all time
There are so many jokes on Twitter, whether topical, visual or quirky, that it would be very difficult to name a favourite, yet when someone named Jess asked people to pick a favourite tweet, astonishingly, they stepped up. Having seen the suggestions, we’re not a bit surprised that they stuck in people’s minds.
What’s the best tweet you’ve ever seen? don’t think too hard just the first thing that comes to mind
— jess (retired) (@jessokfine) February 2, 2019
These are our 34 favourite – plus a bonus, because we’re good like that.
1.
Hello. This toon at noon is @FliesOpen on reading. pic.twitter.com/Sg4dakAqn7
— BƎCK (@new_toons) September 5, 2016
2.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
— John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) October 14, 2016
3.
[park]
STRANGER: Your dog is unusual lookingME: Yeah, he's interbred
DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 5, 2015
4.
https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/345986335766634496
5.
its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town
— bug; imperceivable (@dril) November 29, 2015
6.
7.
How many syllables does the word "Gloria" have?
CATHOLICS: 18
— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) December 25, 2016
8.
Imagine my surprise after having a soapy finger up my pumper in the shower when I found out the x factor theme was guilty pleasures too.
— Baby Jesus (@JCautomatic) November 17, 2012
9.
I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'.
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) August 1, 2014
10.
The saddest, tiniest hooves are the ill bee hooves.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) January 7, 2016
11.
https://twitter.com/EyeSeeYou619/status/869243940578500609
12.
"The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to… what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) December 2, 2014
13.
MARY: Well, I just had a baby… in a barn. So, thanks to everyone who brought gifts. The gold, the perfumes. All things babies love.
Also the child who inexplicably played drums, like, right in my face.
This…this was great.— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) December 4, 2018
14.
"My body heat will probably iron you out by the time I get to work," he lied to the balled up shirt.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) April 11, 2016
15.
https://twitter.com/roboticcrab/status/1066102146230362113
16.
"Ha ha ha! Terrific!" – Mitt Romney, every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 5, 2012
17.
A good way to remember how many chains 2 Chainz has is to just think "he has 2 chains"
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 27, 2016