What is the most on brand thing you did as a child? Our 27 favourite replies
As William Wordsworth said, “The child is father of the man”, which isn’t some weird temporal anomaly Star Trek plotline, but the suggestion that what we do as children shapes how we grow. This point was ably supported when Twitter user Kathryn Brightbill asked one simple question.
What is your most on brand story from your childhood?
— Kathryn Brightbill (@KEBrightbill) February 20, 2019
She even shared her own on-brand childhood memory.
Mine is probably learning how to sign my name when I was four so I could get my own library card instead of having to rely on what my parents checked out for me.
— Kathryn Brightbill (@KEBrightbill) February 20, 2019
Replies flooded in, and we highly recommend you take time to browse them, but we’ve collected our favourites for you.
1.
My mother threatened to punish me by cancelling the family subscription to The Times. https://t.co/eLhUJURXFk
— Michael Barbaro (@mikiebarb) February 22, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/mantamints/status/1098815338320416770
3.
When I was 11 I've convinced my classmates that our school had a cult in the backyard where there was an underground chamber that was marked by the body of a dead bird and priests would pass around the body of a dead sparrow whilst chanting https://t.co/uZ2rTVsFzU
— The Picture of Dorian Gay (@porkironandwine) February 22, 2019
4.
https://twitter.com/rileyroseCritch/status/1098797993023758336
5.
https://twitter.com/shelbycragg/status/1098805213715062784
6.
I wrote a history of a Civil War battle that I made up, which took place in my neighborhood, placed it in context of the Gettysburg Campaign, and I placed my friends and I in it. Then I put up cardboard battlefield markers. Then I wrote a guided tour of the battlefield. https://t.co/JyoBnmNoMy
— Angry Staff Officer (@pptsapper) February 22, 2019
7.
Broke-ass me got caught shoplifting George Harrison's GONE TROPPO from the local "Best Buy" in 9th grade. The security guard just took me into the back room and made fun of me for 20 minutes for trying to steal such a shitty album before letting me go. https://t.co/kZ5XYxLG5k
— Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) February 22, 2019
8.
My best friend’s dad asked me if I wanted a sippy cup and I said no I have my reputation to consider https://t.co/H6R0JLP3Co
— Alex Burns (@alexburnsNYT) February 22, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/rstevens/status/1098794838105997312
10.
in sixth grade this kid I didn't like was way into George H.W. Bush getting reelected and so I told him Bill Clinton was going to win and the day after the election he beat me up https://t.co/gzCjG0I7NV
— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) February 22, 2019
11.
https://twitter.com/_Floodlight/status/1098785827541250049
12.
https://twitter.com/DavidBlue/status/1098778690928893952
13.
Watching Jurassic Park as a 6yo and being sad at the end because, even though terrifying, I really wanted to see the dinosaurs and realised the park (which I thought was real) might now be experiencing some moderate to severe legal issues. https://t.co/yMREjPI9xw
— Rick Morton (@SquigglyRick) February 22, 2019
14.
My mother gathered a shitload of kids to attend my 4th birthday party. In what would be the moment that would start an illustrious career of being an asshole – I proceeded to lick my entire birthday cake so no one else could have any. https://t.co/XSuDGh1vaA
— HumanityCritic (@HumanityCritic) February 22, 2019
