News donald trump Iran Jonathan Pie

Jonathan Pie rips into Donald Trump’s peace deal with Iran, and it’s 5 brutally funny minutes of giving the US president the kicking he so richly deserves

Michael White. Updated June 21st, 2026

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When times are as crazy as they are right now, we often have to turn to satire to make sense of it all.

Satirical journalist Jonathan Pie has had form lately in ripping into Donald Trump and his various stupid escapades – on Iran, on Venezuela and Greenland and on the Ukraine war.

Now, Pie has turned his attention to Trump’s “peace deal” with Iran, signed at the Palace of Versailles last week.

It’s almost 5 NSFW minutes that perfectly sums up the journey we’ve been on since the Iran war started – taking in everything from the multiple claims of victory, to his Easter Sunday message, to posting AI images of himself as Jesus, to ongoing saga of the Epstein files.

Here’s the full transcript c/o YouTube.

Thank you. It’s interesting, isn’t it, that Trump signed this deal in Versailles, you know, the location of another famous humiliating total capitulation. But, you know, of course, Trump will spin this as a a massive success because he’s got form in declaring he’s won when clearly he hasn’t.

But this war was a success in the same way that paying $14 million to shave large chunks of blue paint floating in an algae-infested reflecting pool was money well spent. The truth is the United States has rarely looked weaker and Iran has rarely looked stronger, having now worked out that if anyone doesn’t do exactly what they want them to, they’ll just close the Strait of Hormuz and they’ve got the whole world by the ballbags.

We went from week one, I will win, victory will be easier than that time I kidnapped the president of Venezuela. To
week two, I won; to week three, why aren’t you helping me win? To week four I don’t need your help to win, but if you don’t help me win, I’m going to destroy NATO. Week five, if you don’t let me win, I’ll annihilate an entire
civilisation. It’s quite a feat to give the Iranian regime the moral high ground, but luckily, Donald Trump shattered the illusion of American morality a long time ago.

Week six, uh, we’re winning. And to prove it, here’s an AI picture of me dressed as Jesus. Week seven, uh, the Pope is a soy-filled, woke Guardian reader. Week eight, I’m getting bored now. Weeks 9 through to 14, really bored now and I’ve got ballrooms to build and cage fights on the White House lawn to organise. And four months later, victory. Thank you very much. Where’s my peace prize?

And if the rest of the G7 can just clear up the mess and pay the bill, that would be great. The outcome was always inevitable, but you know, it’s been fun to watch. Most of Trump’s posts on Truth Social around the conflict have sounded less like the leader of a of the free world and more like a 14-year-old boy who’s the only one left in the class not to have fingered anyone. One particular highlight being on Easter Sunday when Trump went on to Truth Social to write, “Open the Strait, you crazy bastards.” Uh, which are the words of a true diplomat with supreme control of
the situation. He then spent some time at the White House Easter egg roll where he gave a speech to a bunch of bemused primary school children about how he’s thinking of starting World War III in Iran and Joe Biden’s auto pen.

But this conflict hasn’t all been plain sailing. Trump got really angry with the UK and Spain and Canada, Australia,
Italy – in fact, anyone who raised any objections to this gross example of imperial overreach was branded a coward.

It was as if he felt like we should all be grateful that his latest piece of American expansionism didn’t involve making Canada the 51st state or carpet bombing the sleepy village of Greenland.

Perhaps if you want your allies to be good allies, then maybe start treating us like allies. Don’t bully your allies or slam illegal tariffs on your allies or interfere with their elections by overtly promoting far-right parties across Europe whilst hurling insults at our leaders and threatening to invade Allied sovereign territory and then demand we come to your aid just because you started a war because one, Benjamin Netanyahu told you to, and two, to distract from the fact that you appear in the Epstein files more times than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible.

But at least someone did all right out of this whole thing. Well, well, for me, the highlight of the whole shitshow was the $2.1 billion in bets placed minutes before presidential announcements about the war in Iran. $2.1 billion in
perfectly timed directional oil trades placed across five presidential announcements in a single month, which
is completely unprecedented and so far completely uninvestigated. Under any other administration, this would be a scandal unlike any other in modern history. Instead, we’re all completely dazzled – me included – by Trump posting AI images of himself as Jesus or posting AI images of himself as James Bond or the Mandalorian. Who else? A Top Gun pilot, a muscular Jedi. He likes cosplay, you know. There’s nothing wrong with that. He cosplays being a president most days, doesn’t he?”

And the video has gone viral this weekend, drawing despairing laughs from fans online.

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Source: Twitter/X/JonathanPieNews