The 25 funniest tweets of the week
13.
Me: Aah, nice white sheets and bedding, what could possibly go wrong?
My period: pic.twitter.com/0v84efrssz
— Sofie Hagen (@SofieHagen) March 17, 2019
14.
Hoorah! It's the Spring Equinox. The end of winter. It's called "equinox" as it is equal parts horse and cow.
— David QC (@DavidMuttering) March 20, 2019
15.
I remember the last time I cried at the cinema. It was when I saw the price of the confectionery.
— Jason (@NickMotown) March 21, 2019
16.
In the future, the phrase “jump the shark” will be replaced by “trigger article 50”
— Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) March 20, 2019
17.
If I cant find anyone to pass an office birthday card to after signing I usually just put it in the trash can.
— Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs) March 20, 2019
18.
It says a lot that in 2019 it's easier to believe that Clark Kent is superman than it is to believe he's a full time paid journalist.
— Frankie Zelnick (@phranqueigh) March 19, 2019
19.
Sometimes I get my Twitter app and my Tinder app confused. I know now that talking about skin suits to prospective dates is not "funny".
Officer: Ma'am we take these complaints very seriously so we do need to search your home.
Me: But not the basement, right?
— Buffaluffagus (@MissSassy_Pants) March 21, 2019
20.
When I was a kid my friend tricked me into eating hamster treats that looked like chocolate but the joke's on her because they were delicious.
— Little Miss Angry (@LittleMissAngr1) March 21, 2019
21.
The fact that Donkey Kong dismantled an entire fascist regime solely on bananas taught me to never underestimate the power of potassium
— Saddington (@hayley_hud) March 21, 2019
22.
If you were in any doubt as to Pablo Picasso's genius, then just look at the detail in this sandcastle. pic.twitter.com/iWatDsL1Fk
— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) March 20, 2019
23.
For a moment I thought Harrison Ford had written a novel called Minty Clinch and I wanted to buy a thousand copies of it pic.twitter.com/GXnYxhHoXT
— Sean Fallon (@FirstToLastPod) March 19, 2019
24.
Oh no. Just found a drawer at home full of light bulbs. I think my wife’s been stealing other people’s ideas.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) March 22, 2019
25.
George Lucas: Does it have a small undetectable weakness deliberately put there that if exploited could destroy the whole thing?
Car Salesman: No
George Lucas: *disappointed look* Oh
— Brynnester (@brynnester) March 21, 2019
Please do let us know of any other funny jokes you’ve spotted this week.
