The 25 funniest tweets of the week
13.
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1117530462384267264
14.
Professor Stephen Hawking was at a book signing when a young girl approached him & said
“I’m going to be the 1st person to photograph a black hole”
Hawking replied
“Study hard, follow your dreams & make the impossible possible”
That young girl was Ainsley Harriot.
True story— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 14, 2019
15.
Middle age: where getting frustratingly trapped in a shirt is a thing
— Bʀɪᴀɴɪᴀᴄ® (@BGH70) April 19, 2019
16.
How much longer are we going to have to wait for ‘Mambo Number 6’?
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 14, 2019
17.
Hey boy, are you an appendix? Because I don’t need you and you’re making me sick.
— AlwaysAshley (@AshleyFrankly) April 18, 2019
18.
I’ve just been in The Range. pic.twitter.com/Pem6wTRwyA
— Andy (@alreadytaken74) April 13, 2019
19.
[creating testicles]
God: we need some dangly bits.
Angel: we've got loads of elbow skin left over.— Paul (@bingowings14) April 14, 2019
20.
Hotel receptionist has twice referred to me as Hun.
They obviously forgot my correct title of, ‘Atilla The’ ..— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) April 18, 2019
21.
1 biscuit = 7 dog biscuits
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 18, 2019
22.
don’t make me go medieval on your ass. (never bathe, have 6 kids, die at age 25 from a cold)
— everett byram (@rad_milk) April 16, 2019
23.
I've just taken an online quiz – "What Kind Of Schrödinger's Cat Are You?" – and it turns out I'm both.
— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) April 17, 2019
24.
I dropped my last Cadbury Mini Egg and it rolled under the fridge. Now I understand how moms harness superhuman strength when their babies are in trouble.
— *sigh*clops (@DadZZZasleep) April 15, 2019
25.
[dinner with a family of owls]
ME: Do you want me to say grace?
DAD OWL: No. We don't do that
ME: I thought you were-
D.O: Please don't
ME: birds of pray?— mo (@chuuew) April 18, 2019
