Marina Hyde’s been live tweeting Boris Johnson’s novel 72 Virgins and it’s everything you’d expect and less
With Boris Johnson topping Tory MPs’ first vote to decide who will be their next leader and our next prime minister, what better time for Marina Hyde to start live tweeting his novel, 72 Virgins.
And it really is quite the read (those of a sensitive disposition, look away now).
1.
https://twitter.com/MarinaHyde/status/1139125183338438657
2.
Description of the lucky lady getting it done to her: "She was looking – this may sound crude, but it is no less than the truth – like a lingerie model only cleverer, and, if anything, with bigger breasts."
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) June 13, 2019
3.
She's bending over to get something out of a bag now – "a sight to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window".
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) June 13, 2019
4.
Another character is "an alpha male so alpha he'd have been awarded a congratulatory first by the examiners in Advanced Virility … He simply had the right stuff exploding from every orifice. In fact his machismo was so intense he was sometimes considered a danger to himself."
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) June 13, 2019
5.
[Incidentally, many thanks to those who have pointed out that Boris's bishop/stained glass window line is a direct lift from Farewell My Lovely by little-known author Raymond Chandler. Uncredited, obv.]
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) June 13, 2019
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
Marina you will be hearing from my lawyer for making me see this with my eyes
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 13, 2019
wait. whoa. stop.
he wrote a 'novel'?
— Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) June 13, 2019
described as an "effortlessly brilliant page-turner" by – ah yes, the Daily Telegraph
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) June 13, 2019
It's a brave journalist who does things like this so we don't have to…
— Ian McDougall (@IanMcDougall1) June 13, 2019
To conclude …
https://twitter.com/doctor_oxford/status/1139134404423507968