25 of the funniest things you’ll see this week
13.
"On the day, Novak was simply too good, able, proficient, adept, fine, accomplished, seasoned, skilful, adroit and gifted." – Roget Federer
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) July 14, 2019
14.
You know how dogs have a sixth sense?
Here’s a true story.
Last night about 10 I was on the couch, my dog started whining & looking upstairs.
I rushed up to check on the kids.
They were fine.
I came back down & caught her finishing off my bowl of Doritos.
Fuckin’ arsehole— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 17, 2019
15.
if u posted “ready for the weekend” on facebook back in 2012 u could usually rack up a good 32 likes. people were always ready for the weekend in 2012
— James (@CaucasianJames) July 16, 2019
16.
me: do u have any mystery books
librarian: maybe
— alien skier 👽👽👽 (@clichedout) July 16, 2019
17.
Your "victim of identity theft" name is:
Your name + a photo of yourself as an old person that you made by granting a dodgy Russian app permission to access all your personal files.
— Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) July 17, 2019
18.
what we all need right now are more sweeping generalizations
— JEFF NEWTON (@yonewt) July 14, 2019
19.
DR: Cover your eye and tell me what you can see
ME: Eye appointment at 11am. Buy milk. Pick up-
DR: No read with your uncovered eye
ME: [lifting hand, leaving print of to do list on my face] Sorry Doc
— mo (@chuuew) July 16, 2019
20.
I remember the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheese.
We all tried to warn him.— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) July 16, 2019
21.
Whoever did the script editing must have been fucking ruthless pic.twitter.com/jxrXC8zLan
— Laura (@fairycakes) July 15, 2019
22.
Me after using “raison d’être” in a sentence pic.twitter.com/w07gyQoKgU
— futch living (@queerdiscox) July 18, 2019
23.
Someone told me every C in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently and now I’m havin a bit of a moment if I’m being honest
— ilaina (@ilainabananas) July 14, 2019
24.
How does the crayon know it's an emergency? https://t.co/t1R5IgzWlq
— Dwayne David Paul (@DwayneDavidPaul) July 15, 2019
25.
My daughter is very keen on Wonder Woman but still says Wonder Moomin, so I drew the crossover absolutely no-one was waiting for pic.twitter.com/Iym1RLsfbv
— Andrew WM Smith (@smidbob) July 14, 2019