Our 25 favourite funny posts from this week
It’s been a momentous week. In what he must have thought was an impossible development, things got even worse for Boris Johnson, impeachment proceedings were initiated against Donald Trump, and two – that’s right TWO – people were sent home from Bake Off. Nothing is predictable anymore, apart from the rising cost of Freddos and the presence of funny people on Twitter, posting stuff like this.
1.
Dear @Tesco, I bought this bag of dog rolls with the expectation that they'd be "white hot", however they are no warmer than room temperature. Please advise. pic.twitter.com/XnBIVrxznR
— Benjamin Partridge (@benpartridge) September 23, 2019
2.
a female xylophonist is called a xxlophonist.
— JB 4 Realz (@JB4Realz) September 24, 2019
3.
We’ve been pure mugged off at work lmao sick 🙃🙃 pic.twitter.com/GUZ5nbBDwX
— Kaito (@kaitlessness) September 22, 2019
4.
ME: *giggling, putting feet in stirrups* So doctor, did you ever try and count how many vaginas you’ve seen?
OPTOMETRIST: Yours is the fourth, ma’am. Please read the top line
— chloe darling (@chloethesiren) September 26, 2019
5.
did my mum text me this headline pic.twitter.com/n2jQkGL8LH
— Katie Spalding (@supermathskid) September 22, 2019
6.
It’s weird how “earth” and “soil” are synonyms, yet when you’re working with electricity it’s only “earthing” yourself that will help.
— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish) September 24, 2019
7.
Carole Malone and Quentin Letts on pointless Celebrities look like every married couple who ever turned up at a lesbian bar looking for a threesome pic.twitter.com/HjCL8Z1cZp
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) September 25, 2019
8.
Good job he shagged that pig then 🐽 pic.twitter.com/QLPqqhPFpU
— ex-barmaid with a spider emoji 🕷 (@Brackers_) September 25, 2019
9.
0240 am. Me to Uber driver. "I'm disgusted you're charging me £107.80 for a trip that was booked at 35 quid"
Uber driver "My radio is set to 107.8 FM."
Thanks to Brunel University for the free drinks.— Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) September 23, 2019
10.
— Natasia Demetriou (@Natasia1andonly) September 25, 2019
11.
What’s wrong with me – I’ve just paused BBC parliament to make a cup of tea. PAUSED BBC PARLIAMENT..my old self has no idea who I am anymore.
— Clarence Blaine (@ClaxtonBlaine) September 25, 2019
12.
Corbyn is on stage and the entire conference floor is pointing at him and chanting ‘Johnson out.’
I mean I know they love the guy but that’s a bit much.
— Tom Peck (@tompeck) September 24, 2019