The 25 funniest tweets of the week

13.

I see Homebase has launched a build-your-own Jacob Rees-Mogg kit. pic.twitter.com/GWBFrA44gV

— Nicholas Pegg (@NicholasPegg) April 5, 2020

14.

Had a massive row with my gf and now she won't talk to me.
She's hiding in her bowl, just behind the little castle.

— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) April 6, 2020

15.

Adds perfect amount of pasta to pan

Adds a bit more “just to be sure”

A bit more

[later, for the millionth time]

“This is way too much fucking pasta”

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 7, 2020

16.

I've just seen 487 magpies, which according to the song means I will bang my shin on a low side table or ornamental shelf fitting what, you’re saying you’ve never got that far through the song?

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 8, 2020

17.

You’re all acting like “Tiger King” is a crazy watch, but I thought you were all talking about a 7 part Netflix show about a “Thai Gherkin”, so the real documentary was underwhelming.

— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) April 5, 2020

18.

Went out birdwatching with Sinead O’Connor this morning
Saw seven owls and fifteen jays 😁

— Davina (@Davina51026186) April 5, 2020

19.

They look like what you’d find in the hoover if you vacuumed Furniture Village. pic.twitter.com/987oCcHcmR

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) April 7, 2020

20.

I won £2.50 on the lottery last night, meaning I can finally get that signed photograph of Adrian Chiles that I've had my eye on.

— cluedont (@cluedont) April 8, 2020

21.

me after reading and being moved by one (1) poem pic.twitter.com/Yqae31nA3r

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) April 8, 2020

22.

May have blown this whole thing wide open last night pic.twitter.com/B7TF7SAPxc

— the drake gatsby 🏠 (@DrakeGatsby) April 7, 2020

23.

my band just played three shows in a labyrinth. It was a minor tour

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) April 5, 2020

24.

What's the quickest you've ever made an enemy?

I walked to freshers' fair 05 with housemate I'd just met, and asked what she was hoping to sign up for.

'Morris dancing'.
I laughed hysterically.
She was deadly serious.

She ultimately became society president. We're not friends

— Ian Ford (@ij_ford) April 8, 2020

25.

Mary telling Joseph that she’s pregnant with the son of God. pic.twitter.com/5jKIkwBgdO

— Sidney Prescott's Mom (@MatthewKBegbie) April 6, 2020

READ MORE

Our 25 favourite jokes from this week – and not a mention of coronavirus

Image Nicholas Pegg, YouTube