‘What’s the most messed-up lie your parents told you?’ – 17 jaw-droppers

Over on Reddit people are sharing the most messed-up lies their parents told them after bordemstirs asked this.

“What is the most ridiculous/fucked up lie your parents told you?”

We’ve read them all – well, quite a lot of them – so you don’t have to and here are 17 standouts.

1.

‘My dad got fed up of watching Barney the dinosaur when I was a kid, and one day when I asked to watch it, he said:
“You can’t”
“Why?”
“Because Barney died”
‘I never did watch Barney again.’
b14nn

2.

‘Not too f-cked up, but ridiculous. When I was little, my mom told me if I didn’t finish my dinner my stomach would get very hungry and come up and eat my brain. A few nights later I woke her up at midnight crying because my stomach growled and I needed a second dinner or it would eat my brain.’
DragonStangFlyer122

3.

‘My parents told me we had to leave the zoo because they let the animals out at closing time.’
agrips1

4.

‘That if I didn’t brush my teeth, tiny teeth goblins would sneak into my room at night and pull out my teeth while I slept. I was genuinely afraid of the teeth goblins.’
tomorrowistomato

5.

‘When I was a kid my father told me about “the can”. He said it contained a family secret of incredible value, and that when I turned 18 I could see it. On my 18th birthday I asked my father about the can, he said “the fuck is the can?” and after I reminded him of it, he burst out laughing, saying that he was fucking with me. For almost a decade I believed that I would be privy to some cosmic secret on my 18th birthday, turns out I’m just very impressionable.’
chrismamo1

6.

‘Around the time Toy Story first came out, my dad drove an Infiniti and he told us that he could press a button and go “to infinity and beyond” to jump over other cars. he’d have us close our eyes and press the button and he’d speed up and pass the car in front of us while our eyes were closed. as a kid i was d u m b f o u n d e d and thought he was magic. it’s actually a nice memory compared to the other ones on here lol.’
nopenonotatall

7.

‘That my eyes turn orange when I lie. So I covered my eyes when I lied so my mom couldn’t see them turn f-cking orange.’
NoseyRosey40

8.

‘That my siblings and I had a sister named Alice. Apparently she wouldn’t stop talking in the car so they dropped her off on the side of the road … never spoke on road trips ever again.’
jaykayhicks

9.

‘That the music meant the truck was out of ice cream.’
fierian