‘What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve heard?’ – 23 brutal takedowns

13.

‘One of my co-workers was cold-calling customers, trying to get appointments to drum up business. One of them told him to, “go f-ck his hand,” and he responded with “I’ve got that penciled in for 3. I should be done by 4 if you’d like to come in for an appointment then?” The guy laughed his ass off, and ended up coming in for the appointment.’
Difference_in_Shades

14.

’18th Century British radical politician John Wilkes was told in parliament by a political opponent “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox”.

‘Wilkes shot back with “That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your lordship’s principles or your mistress.”
[deleted]

15.

“You sure do talk a lot for never saying anything.”
spaceylacy82

16.

‘A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine, that people are talking behind his back. In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: “Well you know what the say about you? Nothing, nobody fucking cares.”
ItsTime4you2go

17.

“If you weren’t so stupid what would you be?” Asks the husband. The wife replies, without even skipping a beat. “Single”
bunnykins74

18.

‘Not heard, but read. Easily the Spartans reply to Philip II of Macedon: “As Philip II of Macedon was conquering Greek city-states left and right, Sparta was left alone. Philip had achieved a crushing victory, and Sparta was relatively weak and without walls. Philip sent a message to the Spartans saying “If I invade Lakonia you will be destroyed, never to rise again.”

‘The Spartans replied with one word, “If.”
JuiceBox1

19.

“What are you looking at?”

“I’m still trying to find out.”
HemiJones

20.

‘Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing.

Pilot: “You’ve left us too high, I don’t think we can make the approach.”

ATC: “You’ve got speedbrakes on that thing, don’t you?”

Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) “Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours.”
DerpDishPizza

21.

‘It’s gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me.

Hudson: “Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”

Vasquez: “No, have you?”
Mike-Drop

22.

‘English class in Middle School

Kid A – “yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night. Must feel like shit having a mom that works at McDonalds”

Kid B- ” at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work”

‘English teacher far louder than he realized “DAYUM!” The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on …’
Nutella_Zamboni

23.

‘Anything I’ve thought of more than an hour after the insult.’
PM_ME

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