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‘What did you believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?’ – 21 delightfully childish delusions

We’re all enthusiastically encouraged to believe in things that aren’t real as children – we’re looking at you, Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy – so it’s no wonder that out little brains struggle to separate fact from fiction in many other scenarios.

Over on r/AskUK, user NikonD3X1985 asked ‘What did you believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?’ and followed it up with this little anecdote…

‘So, this is a bit embarrassing to admit at 39, but growing up in the UK I genuinely thought that cheese rolling was something every town did. I’d see it on TV and think, ‘Well, our town just doesn’t have the right hill for it.’ Fast forward to my twenties when I found out it’s basically a Gloucestershire thing and not some nationwide pastime. Absolutely gutted.

Anyone else have those moments where you realize something quintessentially British isn’t as common as you thought growing up?’

And the cutely misguided replies showed they weren’t the only one who grew up in a world of fantasy.

1.

‘That the channel tunnel was clear and surrounded by visible sea life.’
farfetchedfrank

2.

‘I thought pregnancy was something that just ‘happened’ to female humans and animals, like growing hair or spots or getting older or whatever, and we spayed female animals to stop it ‘happening’ (obviously I didn’t know what sex was or how it worked).

So this led to an amusing conversation when I asked my dad if mummy was ever going to have more babies and he said confidently ‘no darling, she isn’t’, and me, wondering how he could be so sure, asked him ‘oh has she been spayed then?”
squizzlebee

3.

‘I honestly thought as a teenager that we’d just fixed sexism and racism now, and society would all get better.’
bonuce

4.

‘I remember my mother refusing to buy something because ‘we can’t afford it’. To me this was patently ridiculous. I’d seen it with my own eyes, grown-ups could go to the machine in the wall and get money.’
sennalvera

5.

‘I thought people that wore glasses were good people and weren’t capable of committing crimes and stuff.

I believed it to the surprising age of 14. I got a part time job in a cafe over the summer and one of the managers there told us all that Hayley stole from the till and she’s been using it to buy drugs for her and her boyfriend. I said oh my god, she wears glasses though. He was like what?’
SpaceTimeCapsule89

6.

‘Illegal to put the internal light on in the car when you’re driving.’
cankennykencan

7.

‘That rhinos are not male hippos. I blame Disney’s Robin Hood for putting them as a couple.’
dodsi2000

8.

‘That Arsenal football club was named after their manager at the time Arsene Wenger.

And also that Sven-Göran Eriksson and Sir Alex Ferguson were the same person.’
Imaginary_Coat_2638

9.

‘My sister thought that St Pancras was St Pancreas until I corrected her a few weeks ago. She’s 39.’
Johhnymaddog316

10.

‘That a detention would ruin my life akin to going to prison.’
pajamakitten

11.

‘I thought school INSET days were actually ‘insect’ days where kids bought insects to school, lol. Turned out I’d actually misheard/misunderstood by quite a mile.’
Matrixblackhole