
‘What small acts of malice do you really enjoy doing?’ – 25 tiny but funny evils that will brighten your day
We all know that the most karmically successful way to move through life is by being thoughtful and pleasant, but sometimes it’s hard to resist being a little bit evil.
Not in a Donald-Trump-throwing-the-entire-world-into-crisis kind of way, just in a pretty-but-fun kind of way.
In the corner of Reddit called AskUK, TheCammack81 posed this question: ‘Tiny evils! What are the small acts of malice which you enjoy doing?’ and followed it up with their own example:
‘Whenever someone talks to me about Doctor Who, I always refer to The Doctor as ‘Doctor Who”’ and maintain that this is the correct name for the character.
‘For some reason people get really annoyed about it, and it always makes me giggle. Does anyone else enjoy doing tiny rogue acts which are fun yet ultimately harmless?’
And there were plenty of people happy to admit to being a little bit naughty as well.
1.
‘Referring to men’s sports as men’s sports and the female version as just sport. For example men’s football and football.’
–amsypeach
2.
‘I love chiming in and saying that competitive baking is my favourite sport. When they contest it I ask them to evidence how it’s not a sport.’
–Fit_Loss3960
3.
‘Someone a few miles from where I live has somehow got away with fencing off a section of public car park for their own use, with a gate and signs warning – in the name of a company that doesn’t exist – of trespass prosecution against people who park there. Its been confirmed that the person who did this had no right.
Since their gate has a locking mechanism, every few months I go down there early in the morning of a work day with a new padlock and lock their cars in.’
–CarpeCyprinidae
4.
‘My manager has a Range Rover. I always refer to it as his Jeep.’
–Blackintosh
5.
‘When someone says something bigoted in front of me, I play ignorant and make them explain it. If they claim it’s just a joke, I demand to know why it’s funny. I love watching them squirm.’
–katie-kaboom
6.
‘I drive a very small car, and in a busy car park I will park all the way in the space, so that from a distance it will appear that the space is empty.’
–automatic_shark
7.
‘Whenever my husband refers to the football team he supports as ‘we won today’ I reply…’you mean the players’.’
–BrickSpaceDog
8.
‘Our group chat has one guy whose favourite film is The Princess Bride. I’ve never seen it, which annoys him anyway, but adding in that I won’t watch it until I’ve seen the prequels of Princess Diaries 1 and 2, really winds him up.
This has been going for about 5 years now.’
–RunawayPenguin89
9.
‘It’s a tiny malice as old as time tormenting ones own children with their own slang. But such a pleasure to call my son ‘bruh’.’
–TeamOfPups
10.
‘You know those clockwork timer/alarm things you can buy in kitchen stuff shops? I like to set a few of them to random times and then leave the shop.’
–RikB666
11.
‘I work on a bar. If someone puts their money on the bar rather than in my waiting hand I always return the change back to the bar rather than handing it to them. Usually I find a puddle on the bar to leave it in.’
–ComfySlipper
12.
‘People at work refuse to wash their cups after using them and leave a mountain of them heaped in the sink. So every time I make a coffee I wash myself a mug, use it then wash it again but leave it on the drying rack full of suds. It’s petty, but I hope that some lazy sod ends up with a soapy coffee and it spoils their day.’
–RodJaneandFreddy5