25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
It’s been a very long week, and it’s only Wednesday. Trump is blaming Ukraine for the war, UK inflation is at a 10-month high, somebody put 50p in Liz Truss again, and the weather is stubbornly refusing to switch off winter mode.
But, over on Bluesky, funny people have been sharing things to at least put a smile on our faces, and these 25 were our favourites from the past week.
1.
i need a 52 year old man with $800 billion to impregnate my wife . i am worried our offspring wont be sufficiently feeble and/or annoying
2.
HER: did you eat that entire bag of chips?
ME: not on purpose
HER: what do you mean?
ME: it was a snacksident
— Kalvin the Reindeer (@kalvinmacleod.bsky.social) February 16, 2025 at 4:01 PM
3.
Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"
— pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” (@pixelatedboat.bsky.social) February 16, 2025 at 3:29 AM
4.
All businesses: "We've heard loud and clear from our customers what they want and need. And we're delighted to announce we'll be doing the exact opposite. To fund this, we'll be increasing the cost of your subscription."
— Ray Newman (@raynewman.bsky.social) February 16, 2025 at 8:33 AM
5.
Opening my e-fridge to realise it's defaulted back to the "for you" tab, where it shows me all the food I would never buy myself
— Daniel Kennedy (@fliglman.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 1:28 AM
6.
Everyone knows it was originally 'a norange' and 'a nuncle', but did you also know that it was originally 'a ninkjet printer'?
— Moose Allain (@mooseallain.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 1:44 PM
7.
My doctor is getting stronger. I’m up to six apples a day and he just keeps inching closer
— lukelukeluke (@lukelukeluke.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 1:30 PM
8.
Do not – I repeat – do NOT, even out of curiosity, pull the handle on the side of your toilet. I just did, and a gush of water’s erased everything. A lifetime’s turd collection, gone.
— Glenn Moore (@thenewsatglenn.bsky.social) February 17, 2025 at 9:08 AM
9.
If the past really is a foreign country, I’m surprised that the Daily Mail would want to live there.
— Mr Roger Quimbly (@rogerquimbly.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 1:46 PM
10.
Used to be mouse could eat an entire block of cheese and his body would become perfectly triangular with two ears and a nose sticking out. Can't any more, because of woke.
— Bison Sexhorn, Now With ActionVision™️ (@brainmage.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 11:04 AM
11.
It was the breast of times, it was the wurst of times
— Sarah Dempster (@dempster2000.bsky.social) February 18, 2025 at 10:31 AM
12.
me: you know who can’t play the piano by ear
date:
me: vincent van gogh
— RiotGrlErin (@riotgrlerin.bsky.social) February 19, 2025 at 12:53 AM