Someone asked about Brits insulting each other as random objects and ended up feeling like a complete spoon

There are many things that people from other countries find strange about Britain, from our obsessive love of tea to the fact we made a celebrity of Gemma Collins. But something that non-Brits find particularly hard to get a handle on is our humour, and especially the fact that a lot of it involves insulting one another. Over on the AskUK subreddit, user SomeEar512 posted this:

Do Brits Insult each other as a random object? I just moved to England recently, and someone called me a plant pot… is it normal for Brits to insult people by calling them random objects? What other strange insults should I be bracing myself for?

And people were queuing up with ways to tell them they were being a total tennis racquet.

1.

‘Totally normal, you utter spanner!’
–FeekyDoo

2.

‘My personal favorite so far, you absolute lampshade..’
–blondeheartedgoddess

3.

‘That’s no way to talk to someone, you total shoe horn.’
–Warsaw44

4.

‘You can put the word ‘absolute’ in front of any noun and it turns into an insult, you absolute elbow.’
–shushlarzid

5.

‘Or complete: you complete flowerpot. Or total: you total biscuit.’
–DaveBeBad

6.

‘Why would we do that? You total doughnut (note doughnut not donut).’
–LoccyDaBorg

7.

‘I referred to a colleague as a ‘custard cream’ today.’
–Superb-Eggplant3676

8.

‘Who’s this balloon?’
–Confudled_Contractor

9.

‘What a plank!’
–Figgzyvan

10.

‘Sounds like a right sausage!’
–jamesycakes231

11.

‘Of course we do, you dripping flannel!’
–Smashcannons

12.

‘Absolute melt is a popular one.’
–ladysun1984