Someone asked about Brits insulting each other as random objects and ended up feeling like a complete spoon
13.
‘What a wet wipe.’
–Upbeat-Excitement-46
14.
‘Only an utter jam jar would ask that. Are you asking to get your lemons pipped, or sum’mat?’
–George_Salt
15.
‘Only if they like you, you complete ping-pong ball.’
–togtogtog
16.
‘Stop being a wet blanket and let us have our fun alright?’
–MarvTheBandit
17.
‘You melon. Of course we do.’
–BouncyBlueYoshi
18.
‘You absolute cement mixer, obviously it’s standard procedure.’
–Ayyyyylmaos
19.
‘I can’t believe you had to ask this you complete briefcase.’
–Frap_Gadz
20.
‘I got in trouble at work once for calling someone a ham sandwich.’
–ishallbecomeabat
21.
‘If they’ve done something completely off the wall you can prefix ‘weapons grade’. To be used sparingly.’
–TheGroover1970
22.
‘What a weapons grade watering can.’
–JustUseAnything
23.
‘And if you say ‘absolutely [random noun-ed]’ everyone will know you mean very drunk. For example, absolutely gazebo-ed.’
–Outraged_Chihuahua
To sum up…
24.
‘English really is a magical language.’
–cosmic_monsters_inc
READ MORE
17 insults that prove you can be perfectly mean without uttering a single swear word