Exclusive glastonbury

The middle-aged line-up for Glastonbury 2025

Amanda Wilkie. Updated June 4th, 2025

The line-up for Glastonbury 2025 has been announced. If you’re middle-aged though, this might be more what you see when looking at it.

GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL OF CONTEMPORARY PERFORMING ARTS 25TH-30TH JUNE 2025 WORTHY FARM, PILTON, SOMERSET, ENGLAND NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THEM I'M NOT POOING BEHIND A BUSH! BET THERE IS NOWHERE TO GET A DECENT CUP OF TEA I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT I'D NEVER FIND MY TENT CAMPING? WITH MY BACK! THE TOILET QUEUES WILL BE MASSIVE THE SHOWERS ARE PROBABLY MILES AWAY IT'LL BE FAR TOO LOUD DO THEY SELL A NICE PINOT GRIGIO? THE TRAFFIC WILL BE AWFUL IT WILL BE TOO HOT/COLD/WET THERE WILL BE NO COMFY SEATS THERE'S BOUND TO BE MUD EVERYWHERE MY JOINTS WILL ACHE TOO MUCH HOW MUCH FOR A BURGER?! IT'LL PROBABLY SMELL REALLY BAD TOO MUCH WALKING I'D SOONER JUST WATCH THE HIGHLIGHTS ON THE BBC AT HOME