
‘How do you know you’re not evil?’ 18 sure-fire ways to tell if you’re on the side of the angels
We all know what real evil is. Nazis, serial killers, deliberately starving refugees – stuff like that.
But there are plenty of things that have an air of evil without being anywhere near that scale, such as putting After Eight wrappers back in the box when you’ve eaten the mint, you absolute monster!
It’s those sorts of evil that have been turning up in the responses to this shout-out from the very funny Rep. Jack Kimble, whose congressman parody fools so many people, we suspect he could do the real job.
Here’s what he said.
I know I'm not evil because I don't use Reply All except in the most dire emergencies and I've never taken the middle seat and both arm rests on an airplane. How do you know you're not evil?
— Rep. Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) July 7, 2025
And these are our favourite replies.
1.
I haven’t corrected anyone’s grammar online in over 3 days. I’m basically a saint now. pic.twitter.com/9Fd2pXFLRi
— DJL (@lovetoalltx15) July 7, 2025
2.
I always return my shopping cart, and I didn't vote for the current administration. I don't worry about other people's sexual orientation, either.
— TinkerJinx (@JinxTinker) July 7, 2025
3.
I put my cigarettes out before I throw them out my car window into the forest
— think like a real estate appraiser (@ThinkAppraiser) July 7, 2025
4.
I never eat the last one of anything.
(I may eat 99% of whatever it is but NEVER the last one)— Deborah Boyd (@teachermom19681) July 7, 2025
5.
I’ve never used Comic Sans in a professional document.
— RP (@RPinthehousenow) July 7, 2025
6.
I once never inhaled.
— Neptune Fella (@america_dreamer) July 8, 2025
7.
I know I'm not evil because I don't pee on the seats in the restroom. Apparently, in many places, I'm the only one who doesn't.
— MajorHighTide (@BeauChandler12) July 7, 2025
8.
I leave the packages on my neighbor's porch after I open them to see what's inside. I'm no thief.
— Mr. Yellow ️⚛️ (@Gamboleer) July 7, 2025
9.
I leave the toilet seat up after I pee, just like my mother taught me. A guarantee of a dry and clean experience for the next sitter.
— Fran Murphy (@frmurphyiii) July 8, 2025