‘What’s your least impressive achievement?’ – 23 people who are heroically good at being a bit rubbish

The British are a famously humble bunch, never ones to blow our own trumpets or indulge in too much showing off. But if we’re forced to share the things we have accomplished, they’re going to be very small, low key and self-effacing.

They’ve been sharing their incredibly modest victories on the AskUK subreddit after user FamSender asked this:

What’s your least impressive achievement? My wife and I were talking and she pointed out that we’ve never missed a hotel breakfast. 100% breakfast attendance record.

Here are some of the tiny but still satisfying ways people have won at life.

1.

‘Are you implying my Cycling Proficiency Certificate isn’t an impressive achievement?’
–MetalRickyy

2.

‘According to Spotify in 2021, I was in the top 1% of Enya listeners. Beat that.’
–bornfromanegg

3.

‘I am in the top 10 buyers of Frazzles in Scotland across all Sainbury’s stores.’
–DivineDecadence85

4.

‘I once won a copy of the Beano WITH a free Refresher chew bar for getting 10/10 on a Viking quiz at Mansfield museum during a class visit.’
–GuybrushFunkwood

5.

‘According to my last health check, I’ve got ‘normal testes’. Take that Buster Gonad.’
–GreybridgeLeopard

6.

‘I got a U in IT for GCSE. Had never even heard of it before but apparently stands for ‘ungradable’. Literally everything else I got As and Bs.’
–ShruggyShuggy

7.

‘As a 7-year-old, I was an artistic prodigy who was recognised by one of our nation’s most celebrated institutions and granted an honour that, when wielded, permits me free access to many of the United Kingdom’s most treasured cultural sites.

Which is to say: I have a Blue Peter badge.’
–theinspectorst

8.

‘I won a copy of Shrek 2 on DVD because I texted into a radio show that had a competition to ask a film expert an interesting question, and mine was one of the ones that got picked.’
–Hour-Process-3292

9.

‘I once won a balloon crown for doing the best dance to Spice Up Your Life at a birthday disco.’
–fillerbitch

10.

‘I once caused Noel Edmonds to tell me to piss off.’
–Majestic-Pen-8800

11.

‘Placed Bronze in the Boys Under 11 Pontins Crazy Golf Tournament, Summer 1982. No medal as there was only three players.’
–FecklessFridays

12.

‘My family stopped playing Scrabble altogether after I wiped the board with them.’
–Albannach02