25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
Welcome to week 17 of January 2026. Only another 14 to go until payday.
We hope you’re all managing to find ways to stretch out your money, now that we’re in the realm of googling recipes for what’s left in the cupboard …a tin of plum tomatoes, a packet of dried pinto beans with a use-by date of 2021, and a sachet of strawberry-flavoured jelly powder. Over to you, Nigella.
To take your mind off the money, let’s have a look at this week’s Bluesky treasures.
1.
Today is National Thesaurus Day.
Personally, we find these made-up holidays contemptible, abhorrent, nauseating, repugnant, and unpalatable.
— Merriam-Webster (@merriam-webster.com) January 18, 2026 at 3:03 PM
2.
Alas, I have become what I most feared: ten draculas.
— Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (@dumbmike.bsky.social) January 14, 2026 at 3:36 PM
3.
So that’s why it’s called crack cocaine!
leamingtonobserver.co.uk/news/warwick…
4.
Man goes to doctor.
Says “doctor, I am depressed, life just seems like hollow joke”.
Doctor says “well, whatever you do, don’t go see the so-called ‘great’ clown Pagliacci at the circus, I took my wife last night and boy does he suck ass, the idio…why are you crying?”— Twlldun (@twlldun.bsky.social) January 19, 2026 at 4:02 PM
5.
I assume they’re all narrated by Brian Blessed.
— The Craggus (@thecraggus.com) January 17, 2026 at 9:21 PM
6.
Tapping sadly on the window of the swan sanctuary with one of two Pringles cans I’ve got stuck on my hands, sobbing “yes it *has* happened again, please don’t make me go to the people hospital”
— Rose Ruane (@regretteruane.bsky.social) January 19, 2026 at 3:43 PM
7.
What the stripper is called in every Tarantino movie…
— Tom Jamieson (@tomjam.bsky.social) January 19, 2026 at 3:56 PM
8.
Women: “We love guys in grey sweatpants…l
Me:
— Dr Raul Duke (@drraulduke.bsky.social) January 19, 2026 at 4:49 PM
9.
You ever watched the feature film Fame? It’s 87 minutes long. Andy Warhol was talking SHITE
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy.bsky.social) January 14, 2026 at 2:43 PM
10.
this is how i wrote the conclusion to 100% of my uni essays
— reni 🦌 (@reniadeb.com) January 19, 2026 at 6:11 PM
11.
"I need this. For er… national security."
– Me, as I inch toward a second piece of cake.— Dmitry Grozoubinski (@explaintrade.com) January 18, 2026 at 6:50 PM
12.
The tortoise and the hare is a very famous parable about the importance of not taking a fucking nap in the middle of a foot race
— Jon Drake (@jondrake.bsky.social) January 18, 2026 at 3:20 PM