23 ‘unsexy realities of a long term relationship that nobody warns you about’

The notion of two people living ‘happily ever after’ at the end of a story is drilled into us from every corner of our culture, from fairytales to romance novels to films, but what about the stuff that happens after that point?

Well, it turns out that it’s not all roses, as anyone who has been with their partner for longer than about six months knows.

Over on the AskReddit page, user LibraryNo2956 asked this:

What is an unsexy, raw reality of a long term marriage/relationship that nobody warns you about?

And lots of slightly disillusioned people who are still in it for the long term shared their thoughts, like these…

1.

‘You gotta be able to be good coworkers. Not being able to carry responsibility together will break you.’
–Reasonable-Mischief

2.

‘“What should we eat this week?” While sitting over a blank shopping list. Repeat every week forever.’
–jordanscollected

3.

‘Sometimes you won’t like each other. It doesn’t mean it’s over. You just need to find new ways to reconnect. Also, you’re probably just really tired.’
–BenightedBuckaroo

4.

‘ESPECIALLY AFTER CHILDREN for the love of god prepare yourselves. It’s absolutely doable but you have to anticipate it being difficult for a couple years.’
–ManyColoredStars

5.

‘We’re in our late 70s now and spend a lot of time at doctors appointments. It only gets worse in your 80s and beyond. You’ll need each other in your worst and most vulnerable moments.’
–IHeartWichita

6.

‘You’re probably going to be cleaning up one another’s poop, pee, and vomit at various points.’
–igotplans2

7.

‘Some things you thought/hoped they’d grow up out of do not change. Little things can end up driving you nuts after years. Living styles and prefs are hugely important (cleanness, neatness etc) because no one wants to be the other person’s maid – it will kill attraction.’
–Future_Beginning_244

8.

‘The key is to find someone you can sit three feet from almost every single night of your life without saying a word and still enjoy your time. Because that’s what real life is.

When we were young we were going out to a bar or a restaurant or a show or someone’s place to kick it at least three nights a week, usually like five nights, but now we’re getting older and we rarely go out. We order in way more than we go to an actual sit-down restaurant.

The other key is to have hobbies. My wife in in a dance troupe that rehearses three nights a week, sometimes four, and I get out for runs or to go golfing or to play padel with the fellas or something. And we go out separately to bars and stuff without the other. So we get time apart.

But yeah the reality is about 90% of your life is sitting next to said person, not saying much.’
–SpicelessKimChi

9.

‘Some nights you lie side by side feeling more like roommates who split rent than people who once couldn’t keep their hands off each other.’
–Warm_Bridge_946

10.

‘Puppy love ends. It becomes a true life partnership that constantly requires give and take.’
–grassy4343

11.

‘You will have to listen to a lot of stories about their work day, most of which are not in any way interesting, and say, “Wow, I can’t believe [person] did that” because the boring details of their life deserve to be heard by someone.’
–youreannie

12.

‘Your partner is going to fart. A lot.’
–Dramatic-Attempt-735