People have been sharing the green flags that are actually red flags in disguise – 17 warning signs that look great on the surface

When it comes to friends and partners, we’re all looking for green flags, those tell-tale behaviours that indicate someone is a good egg.

Popular green flags include being kind to wait staff and returning the shopping trolley. But it gets more complicated when some green flags are actually a mask for more toxic behaviour.

This prompted Various_Regular_2046 to put the following question to r/AskReddit:

‘What’s a green flag in a person that is actually a hidden red flag once you get to know them?’

Be on the lookout for these top replies…

1.

‘Recent one for me: it was him having nearly all of the same interests/causes/values/hobbies as I did.

‘I thought it was ✨️meant to be✨️.

‘Turns out he was just mirroring me after going through all of my socials and old posts to find out what I was passionate about.

‘To this day I have no idea who this man actually is and it creeps me out.’
-TranslatorNew5969

2.

‘Very highly motivated people who are climbing up rungs, including what they consider the “quality” of friends and spouses, so they are always willing to abandon friends for what they think is a better set. Ambition is a great quality until pushed too far.’
-Ok_Win590

3.

‘Extreme confidence. Sometimes it’s just arrogance in disguise.’
-EmotionalPotatoess

4.

‘Green flag — has a close relationship with their Mom.

‘Red flag — tells their Mom too much about your relationship, lets Mom interfere in private manners, and won’t defend you against or draw boundaries with their Mom because they always pick her side.’
-familiarshadowkatt

5.

‘Excessive romance and love bombing. It’s a sign they may not be connected to reality or will cycle through very strong emotions quickly. It’s not inherently “wrong” to be that way, but it can mean bad times are in your future.’
-Sentient-Carrot-412

6.

‘Being low maintenance or just wanting to “go with the flow” can seem refreshing at first, but it will eventually mean more work for someone else. Decisions have to be made sometimes, and it’s annoying when one person in the relationship has to make them because the other person has a “oh whatever is fine” attitude.’
-AutumnLeaved

7.

‘Someone who is always preaching be kind and policing others kindness. Everytime they have been the sketchiest people who are just using it as a front to cover the shitty shit they do.’
-nomorepumpkins

8.

‘Someone who is overprotective is considered a green flag but in reality, it’s just their insecurities. It ends up being suffocating and is actually a big red flag.’
-UsefulPersimmon436

9.

‘”Fun-loving”. It can be exciting at first but tends to get old very quickly.’
-InclinedPlane43