People put Donald Trump into a Victoria Wood song and it’s terrific
You may have read Donald Trump’s alleged penchant for being spanked with a rolled up copy of Forbes magazine (with him and his family on the cover).
It reminded people of a Victoria Wood song, The Ballad of Barry and Freda, which famously included the line ‘Beat me on the bottom with a Woman’s Weekly’.
We jokingly suggested that someone should rewrite the lyrics and now they have! Take it away, er, Olympic rowing legend Matthew Pinsent.
1.
Stormy and Donald sat one night, the sky was clear the stars were bright, the wind was soft the moon was up, Donald drank weirdly from his cup
— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 18, 2018
2.
She licked her lips, he looked confused. He tweeted as she switched off Fox News. And Donald cringed in fear and dread as Stormy grabbed his overlong red tie and said… https://t.co/ihIVQrgYx0
— Richard Ashworth (@Rashers3) January 18, 2018
3.
Lets do it, lets do it, exactly where Obama has; bring big macs, and Forbes mag, your iPhone and your bedroom pazaz,
I’m pining, I hanker
If you want to you can pretend I’m Ivanka
Lets do it, lets do it tonight.@EmmaKennedy— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 18, 2018
4.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it, my schedule is already filled, check the polls, play 18 holes, I’ve got a biggly wall to build. I’m planning my fake tanning. You know as well as I do that the Muslims need banning. I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight…
— Richard Ashworth (@Rashers3) January 19, 2018
5.
Lets do it, lets do it, cant care about your travel bans, no left wing, in the WestWing, hug me with your tiny hands, no wife here, no daughter, under the desk though is that Sebastian Gorka!?? Lets do it, lets do it tonight!
— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 19, 2018
6.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it.
My button pressing days have gone.
Unless it’s nuclear.
Just to be clear.
I’d love to blow up Kim Jong-un.Don’t be pushy.
I’m fussy.
All I want to do is grab you by the pussy.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight…— Richard Ashworth (@Rashers3) January 19, 2018
7.
Lets do it, lets do it,
I really want to have my way
Your torso, your man boobs and best of all your coiffed toupe,I’m single,
you’re married
if you’re not keen have you a number for Jared?
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight!— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 19, 2018
8.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it.
I don’t believe in too weak borders.
Don’t breach me
Impeach me
I can only get off by signing executive orders.Don’t pick on me.
No pillory.
I need to check these emails I’ve just got from Hillary.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight…— Richard Ashworth (@Rashers3) January 19, 2018
9.
Lets do it, lets do it,
there’s no need to act all coy,
I’m in porn, you’re a “businessman”
I’ve seen your type both man and boyYou’re stalling, goodbye kiss?
My new film’s gonna be “The Oval Orifice”
Lets do it, lets do it tonight!— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 19, 2018
10.
I can’t do it
I can’t do it
I won’t be able to see it through
I’ve lost power
in my Trump tower
And my tax returns are overdueI need mothering
But I’m governing
So let me read this catalogue on border wall coverings
I can’t do it
I can’t do it tonight…— Richard Ashworth (@Rashers3) January 19, 2018
11.
Lets do it, lets do it,
I’ve already got all smartly dressed,
lips are flawless, eyes felined,
Hairdo’s all perfectly tressedBags Prada, shoes Gucci
Should I go hunt for that bloke Scaramucci?
Lets do it, lets do it tonight!— Matthew Pinsent (@matthewcpinsent) January 19, 2018
