16 nuggets of ‘Fake Showbiz News’ to make your day a whole lot better
The Fake Showbiz News Twitter account is ‘your number one source for made-up entertainment gossip’. It’s been tweeting inspired nonsense since 2011 and here we give you 16 of our favourite headlines from this year…
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Olly Murs reveals he’s accidentally joined African terror group Boko Haram.
He told reporters: “I’ve got to fly to Nigeria tomorrow for my initiation. I’m scared shitless.” pic.twitter.com/vepmWvscia
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) June 27, 2019
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The Human League to be known as The Carling Human League from August after group signs £15bn sponsorship deal pic.twitter.com/ITIKktsDWS
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) June 21, 2019
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Jamiroquai star Jay Kay admits the only things that make him truly happy these days are curry and masturbation pic.twitter.com/wReKFoZRiW
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) June 15, 2019
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Former Beautiful South frontman Paul Heaton opens a new dessert restaurant in Hull called Heaton’s Trifles pic.twitter.com/SV6qd4mDs0
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) June 12, 2019
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The Cheeky Girls to perform their seminal debut album ‘PartyTime’ in its entirety at the Royal Albert Hall on 23 August pic.twitter.com/L7xFTZhnro
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) May 11, 2019
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Billy Joel to front new Netflix documentary about people who’ve been wrongly accused of arson pic.twitter.com/nkiZ8hKfxw
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) May 4, 2019
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Cliff Richard says he’s happy to pose for selfies with fans but if you’ve run out of space on your phone he’s not going to stand there like a cunt while you delete photos pic.twitter.com/pZTPCmoZ6a
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 9, 2019
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Kylie Minogue says her fantasy is for a driver to aggressively overtake her on a country road but then a few minutes later she drives past his crashed car with him burning to death inside pic.twitter.com/wBIRCaUzGb
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 8, 2019
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Prince William and Prince Charles to release charity cover of ‘I Just Can’t Wait To Be King’ to raise money for people with really bad hay fever pic.twitter.com/FpZ0OcBI61
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 4, 2019
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Taylor Swift laughs off rumours she is dating Nottingham City Council leader David Mellen.
“We’re just good friends,” she told reporters pic.twitter.com/3L42FXOP71
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 4, 2019
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Beyoncé says when dining at Wetherspoons, always try to use a ketchup bottle with the seal still on as it’s very likely someone will have gobbed in one that’s already open pic.twitter.com/RQPMpdwqCT
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) August 1, 2019
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Kylie Minogue calls for the return of public hangings.
“It would send out a strong message and would also be fun to watch,” she said pic.twitter.com/iCQ8F1nv49
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) July 28, 2019
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Kerry Katona announces plans to launch her own range of prams and pushchairs with built-in ashtrays pic.twitter.com/35lrQnoH5Q
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) July 20, 2019
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Roy Keane says people who jokingly ask “does this count as one of my five-a-day?” about things like Jaffa Cakes, Chocolate Orange and fruit cider need to “grow up” pic.twitter.com/nLFfTFSWoT
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) July 18, 2019
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Olly Murs says the moon landings were even more impressive when you consider it was a daytime lift-off so the crew couldn’t even see where the moon was pic.twitter.com/3Ps4pY1cNw
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) July 16, 2019
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Extra bank holiday to take place on 26 November to mark the 25th anniversary of Jimmy Nail’s ‘Crocodile Shoes’ reaching number four pic.twitter.com/1FdlIC917v
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) July 10, 2019
