30 Christmas gifts to inspire you

World Christmas News: There is nothing that puts the ‘Christ’ back into ‘Christmas’ better than crucifying a bearded fanatic. However, as we all know, the cost of nailing bearded fanatics to a cross is now almost as high as throwing  desert prophets into a pit full of snakes.

The global economic crisis has bought a great deal of suffering this year, and no area of human activity has suffered more than suffering itself. So, to keep their families entertained, most people have put the appeasing of bloody and feckless gods to one side. Instead it seems we have all plumped for an old-fashioned round of presents.

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To celebrate such economising, we bring you our gallery of 30 of the very best Christmas gifts ever. We’ve travelled to the four corners of the internet for this list, often at great moral and digestive risk, so sit forward, relax, and let your index finger reveal this most mixed of festive bags – Happy Christmas!

With thanks to the Poke Army for these  special present ideas:

A Pearl Necklace via @FullMetalAnnie

A Framed print of Adolf Hitler on Amazon via @jimmykonty

A Flying Fuck via @Chard0301

An Inflatable Zimmer Frame via @FullMetalAnnie

A Doll That Dumps by Mattell via @jimmykonty

A Box canvas print of Paul Ross on Amazon for 2499.99 via @jimmykonty

A Travel Bidet via @stuartlacey

A Shit box via @RandomVitriol

A Jesus Action figure via @Chard0301

Beard Head via @FullMetalAnnie

A Pop Up Sex book via @still_mjp

A toy gun for Mother in law via @jimmykonty

Batman Water Gun @ITV_Boredom