Assassin’s Creed stunt scares tourist ‘to death’

Video Games News: An elaborate PR stunt on the Thames Barrier for ‘Assassin’s Creed’ turned fatal last night when an elderly tourist died of a heart attack after being ‘scared out of his wits’ by the giant effigy of the game’s principle character.

assassins creed thames barrier

The old guy came up on the poop deck,” said eyewitness Irene Barber, 69, “just as the boat got to the Thames Barrier and that big horrible face. He looked up, went completely white, clutches his chest and collapsed. That was it. Dodo time.”

Chester Williams, 87, from Gary, Indiana, had been enjoying a two-week stay at the capital, and bought a ticket for the trip up the Thames on the Royal Victoria ‘to see London at its best’.

There is not a doubt in my mind that Assassin’s Creed literally assassinated my father,” said daughter Colleen Williams, 52. “He was a nervous man and besides which, he hated – and I mean really hated – Assassin’s Creed. The mundane gameplay mechanics. Barely passable sword fighting. Repetitive missions. A real let-down after all the hype. My Dad was a Grand Theft Auto man through and through. And Guitar Hero. Jesus, how he loved Guitar Hero.”