David Starkey falls for Nigerian scam

Historian News: Overweight schoolchildren and academic rivals alike were gloating today as it emerged that witheringly intelligent TV historian David Starkey, CBE, had fallen for a Nigerian scam costing him £180,000.

“After receiving his email, I met Mr. Uwaifo several times in a West London hotel,” Mr. Starkey told reporters.

“I was very impressed by his detailed grasp of the Tudor period and had no reason to doubt that he was indeed the son of a disgraced oil boss with access to $250 million, currently trapped in a Nigerian bank account.”

“His initial proposition that a loan of £70,000 was required to release said funds seemed to me both reasonable and lucrative, entitling me as it did to 30% of the $250 million. This type of arrangement was common during both the Interregnum and the reign of James II.”

“Verifiable documents were sent to me, bearing the requisite government stamps and when ‘unforeseen circumstances’ necessitated an increase of the loan to £180,000, my advanced studies of fiscal policy during the Hundred Years War suggested to me that this was still within the bounds of acceptable business praxis.”

“I now accept that Mr. Uwaifo, like Catherine of Aragon, was less than honest.”

“I have, therefore, instructed my private secretary to draw up a letter, explaining my predicament and asking for a small investment of £180,000 for legal fees allowing me to recover my share of the $250 million. The investor will be entitled to 30% of the monies recovered.”

“A signed copy of this letter will be sent to a quarter of a million Nigerians.”