The story of this ‘cursed root’ went viral because it’s like a horror movie (and a lesson for us all)
This person found a mysterious object on their doorstep and was so interested in finding out where it came from that they hung on to it.
anyway, do you guys want to hear a story: two weeks ago a mysterious cursed root appeared on my front doorstep. it was the length of my forearm and shaped like a fucked up turkey leg. look here it is pic.twitter.com/yqZsdUw6yM
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
Big mistake.
1.
It took me about 8 seconds to become completely obsessed with it. I mean. What the fuck IS it?? Animal? Vegetable? Mineral? Alien womb? Why is it full of all those sticks??? Is it a curse? A blessing? I mean. duh. I knew it was a curse
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
2.
I picked it up, shook it, banged it against the step a bit. Nothing jiggled, nothing hissed, but it was oddly….squishy. And maybe warm, somehow? I asked my neighbors. Nobody knew. I sent friends pictures. Nothing.
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
3.
I put it in a gallon freezer bag and took it to work. I asked my bosses, my coworkers, my patients. Nobody had any idea what it was. By the end of the day, though, we noticed that the bag was…sweating. The turkey leg was emitting heat and moisture
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
4.
That night, as I left work, I threw it in the back of my car (a hatchback) and….I…forgot about it. Skip forward maybe a week. I was driving my kids to the library. My son was in the backseat and he told me there was a worm back there??
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
5.
& I was like: of course there’s no goddamn worms back there it’s probably just food you spilled!!! ie: this is your fault anyway just let me drive to the library!! but then my daughter turned around to check the backseat and THAT is when the screaming started
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
6.
the cursed turkey leg FUCKING HATCHED. and from its fucked up spongy depths emerged. just. hundreds of horrible, tiny, fucked up worms. Everywhere. squeezing into the backseat from my trunk. they had chewed through their bag.
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
7.
We made it to the library. shrieking and nauseated. We leaped out of the car, leaving all the doors open. I snatched the turkey leg and threw it as hard and as far away from us as I could.
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
8.
…landing on some poor stranger's doorstep, starting the cycle again.
— Chad (@dchidelf) May 1, 2018
9.
We called my husband, the three of us hollering into speaker phone that we would NEVER get back into that car, we had NO idea what to do, and that it was his job to SAVE US. FROM THE WORMS.
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
10.
and he did: he came to take my car to vacuum it out, and we drove his car home. he came home an hour later, all the worms safely locked inside the industrial vacuum at mikes car wash. but here’s the thing:
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
11.
It’s getting warmer out. The sun is shining, trapping the heat inside my car, effectively creating a greenhouse for whatever…..might be….living. in my car.
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
12.
So now, on the warm days, before I can get in my car I have to inspect the entire back seat (they’ve not come up to the front?) and trunk for tiny worms, which I then squish with the worm squishing rock I now keep in my car for this purpose
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
13.
Today I have only had to squish three worms. It’s fine. Everything is fine
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
14.
UPDATE I found a single solitary dead worm thing in the back of my car and I am. going to post a picture. I’m sorry pic.twitter.com/LsWfUVWfs0
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
The film rights have already been sold, apparently.
What area are you in? The closest guess I have so far is maybe a rotted ponytail palm tree? They are a common tropical house plant and sort of match that shape, not sure about the texture because google couldn't show me any closeups of that type of bark.
That or an alien loofah?
— Lady Deathclaw (@LadyDeathclaw) May 1, 2018
Indiana! I was thinking mushroom but idk
— keply (@keplyq) May 1, 2018
If you want to find out for sure what it may be, look into your counties Extension Services department. They usually have a public building which would have resources for agricultural research, they'd probably love to see this and hear your story about it.
— Lady Deathclaw (@LadyDeathclaw) May 1, 2018
Omg last winter there was a rat living inside my car’s AC vents. Every day the floor mats got smaller and smaller as the rat chewed them up. It somehow ate the owners manual through the closed glove box too. When we took it in there was an actual rat nest underneath the dashboard
— (@snapchat_hotdog) May 1, 2018
Please. For all of us. Set fire to your car.
— Jason Inofuentes (@tnofuentes) May 2, 2018
i have to know what that is so i can plan my entire life around not being where it lives
— Mme Von Schneeflocke (@c_schneeflocke) May 2, 2018
Here’s what they’ll stick on the movie poster.
This story has everything, children, mystery, awe, defense, books, worms. Thank you, kindly
— Lani (@polellan) May 1, 2018