Simply 13 very funny Frankie Boyle tweets

8.

I believe Jesus has never died, and is unkillable. He was captured during the Crusades and is held in the dungeon of the Vatican. They kill him every night and every morning there he is, just sitting there whistling. The large hadron collider is our final attempt to destroy him.

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) August 15, 2018

9.

If you think that the school holidays seemed to last forever when you were a kid, just wait till you’re a parent

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) August 3, 2018

10.

If you get an ingrown toenail don’t pull it out yourself with pliers. Some of you probably already knew this.

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) April 16, 2018

11.

Take a tip out of my elderly neighbour’s book and keep out the draughts by leaving all your mail in your letterbox

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) February 28, 2018

12.

March. You told yourself you were going to get a grip on your life in January.

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) March 1, 2018

13.

Twitter is definitely the top website for being accused of cowardice by an anonymous dude pretending to be a fox wearing a Union Jack waistcoat

— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) August 16, 2018