What ‘compulsory’ things did you only realise later in life was totally optional? 23 people tell how they joyously saw the light

Despite fervently believing we’re intelligent and autonomous beings, the truth is that, for the most part, we move through life thinking and doing the same thing as everyone else. Just because that’s how it’s always been done.

So when we witness somebody stepping outside of what’s expected and making a completely maverick move, it can be quite a shock.

They’ve been chatting about this on the AskReddit page after Vanja_x posed this question…

‘What did you not realise was optional in life until you saw someone simply refuse to do it?’

Plenty of people had thoughts on the ways in which they’ve become nonconformists and changed their lives, like these…

1.

‘Lawns. The person I saw refuse to do it, is me. I used to have the best lawn in the neighbourhood.

‘One day I was out there pulling weeds out, by hand, sitting in the grass. And I realized, this is bullshit. It’s beautiful, and there are 10000 things I’d rather be doing.

‘Since then, I only mow when legally required, and I’ve grown to fully and truly resent lawns and everything they represent. they are so stupid and wasteful and harmful.

‘Fuck lawns. you don’t have to poison the planet to have weird fake carpet outside. Just say no.’
–flargenhargen

2.

‘That you don’t actually have to have an opinion on everything. Watching someone say “I don’t know enough about that to comment” made me realise silence is an option too.’
–Harry111222

3.

‘Giving a shit at work. I spent 10 years really, truly, genuinely trying my best. I realised that most people don’t and suffer no consequences, so I might as well take that approach too.

‘It’s been about 3 years since I adopted a “bare minimum” approach and I haven’t suffered a single consequence. I’m much happier and more mentally stable as a result.’
–GiantBallbag

4.

‘Ordering appetizer (optional), entree (mandatory), dessert (optional) in that order at a restaurant. I don’t think anyone showed it to me, just one day I wasn’t interested in any of the entrees but an appetizer and a dessert looked really good. So I ordered those and asked they both be brought at the same time.

‘It blows people’s minds every time. “You can DO that??” Yes, yes I can. You can too!

‘Appetizers and desserts are usually way more interesting than the entrees anyway.’
–army_of_ducks_ATTACK

5.

‘Kicking my adult child out of the nest because that’s what western society tells you to do when they turn 18. It’s incredibly expensive for kids to live own their own or even with a roommate. My kid can stay with me as long as they want.’
–Diligent_Tip_5592

6.

‘Explaining why I’m not coming in to work. I used to get all caught up and anxious, trying to word it in a way that would dispel any doubt that I was, in fact, too sick to work, until I saw someone call in and all they said was “I can’t make it into work today.”

‘I tried it a few times over several years with three jobs and never had an employer press me for details. The only follow up question was “when will you be back?”

‘And I would say “as soon as possible.” End of convo.’
–LitigiousCeilingCat

7.

‘Family bullshit. I don’t actually have to go to Christmas with people I don’t like just because I am related to them.’
–thingpaint

8.

‘Entertaining guests past the point of your desire to do so. I was once at a friends house and they just bluntly said “Alright. Get out, I’ll talk to you later”, (not in a mean way, but meant it) and I honestly respected that shit so much I adopted it.’
–oregiel

9.

‘Going and sitting with everyone at work on breaks. Second week of silence and I can’t believe it took me so long. No more bitching or shit talking, no more bullshit drama. Genuinely feel better for it mood wise.’
–Adodgybadger

10.

‘Authority – in the vast majority of situations (outside of the military, law etc) people forget that the entitlement to control what you do is something you lease to someone, that you can revoke at any time. there may likely still be consequences for doing so, but applied intelligently knowing when to say ‘No, I’m not doing that.’ is an extremely valuable tool.

‘Be it a co-worker, family member or otherwise, if you feel that someone is abusing their “authority” over you can just flat out refuse to respect it.

‘The other positive to come out acting like this is that when you feel you can enforce your own boundaries when you need to, you feel like you need to less frequently. When people learn that you aren’t to be fucked with, they tend to stop fucking with you so much.’
–AVeryNiceBoyPerhaps

11.

‘Responding. Someone is emailing or texting and wanting you to engage in an argument. Stop. Wait. Boomerang responses only feed the fire. You don’t owe anyone a response, and if you want to respond it doesn’t have to be immediate.’
–bengalfan

12.

‘Bring a dog when you go to the dog park. Years ago, I watched a lady playing with the dogs, then just get up and leave. The other owners and I looked around and accounted for all the dogs, she didn’t bring one. Brilliant.’
–meanoldmrgravity