People are sharing their favourite stupid jokes and these 41 are so stupid – they’re brilliant
22.
We got our dog from the blacksmiths
As soon as we got him home he made a bolt for the back door.— Elisabeth ❄️ Anderson (@velobetty) November 12, 2018
23.
What's grey and can't swim?
A castle
— Just Ali (@Imnotfromsparks) November 12, 2018
24.
Bought the wife a fridge for Christmas. Her face lit up when she opened it.
— TheGhostofBezmenov (@neildhopwood) November 12, 2018
25.
I played football last night for the first time in ages. It was on a pitch surfaced with compacted rubble and broken bricks…
We won 5-4 on aggregate.
— (@robgreen78) November 12, 2018
26.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A fish— Pete's Tweets (@catweevil) November 12, 2018
27.
What's the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby?
Bing sings but Walt Disney— Elisabeth ❄️ Anderson (@velobetty) November 12, 2018
28.
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2— Jill (@JillianPincham) November 12, 2018
29.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s a heavy animal and the other’s a little lighter.
— Belle Tower (@SpongePuddin) November 12, 2018
30.
Knock knock
Who’s there
Avon, your bell isn’t working— ℙ ℂ (@sospainter) November 12, 2018
31.
Did you hear about the man with 5 willies?
His pants fit like a glove
— Kell (@Kellbound) November 12, 2018
32.
Why does no one like Tigger?
Cos he likes to play with poo
— Debbie gooch #GTTO (@dgooch38) November 12, 2018
33.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet?
Because the p is silent.
— Darren Jalland (@larbertred) November 12, 2018
34.
What’ve you got if you have one green ball in one hand and one green ball in the other hand…
the undivided attention of the Incredible Hulk#Topical
— Steve (@Maxaretunit) November 12, 2018
35.
"I've lost my gloves, has anyone seen them?"
"What do they look like?"
"Hands."
— Mark Robinson (@marky745) November 12, 2018
36.
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Ones a sick bird— Kell (@Kellbound) November 12, 2018
37.
Heard the one about King Billy and his rubber horse?
He rode it to the Battle of the BoyneBoyneBoyneBoyne…
— McGarvey (not Frank) Art (@McGarveyArt) November 12, 2018
38.
Did you hear the one about the Brown Paper Cowboy?
He got caught for rustling!
— Daniel Sidi (@dansidi) November 12, 2018
39.
What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of wool.
She gave birth to mittens.
— PPP (@PopsAboutABit) November 12, 2018
40.
I went into a pub and the peanuts on the bar said they really liked my hair. Then the cigarette machine shouted over from the corner that my mum was a slag.
Turns out the snacks were complimentary but the fag machine was out of order.
— David (@davidofsussex) November 12, 2018
41.
Two parrots sat on a perch.
One turns to the other and says "can you smell fish?"
— Robin Rutter (@BraveSirRobin42) November 12, 2018
They’re not big, they’re not clever (mostly), but they are inexplicably funny. There was also this one which is a useful way of finding out who’s the office idiot. If you don’t get it, it’s you.
Knock knock joke.
You start.— ℙ ℂ (@sospainter) November 12, 2018
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