25 funniest tweets of the week

We’d like to go one last week without saying the C word, if possible – not that one, the one about the fat guy in the red suit who sneaks into your house at night and rummages through your stockings. Actually, it could be that C word. Before the season to be jolly has had a chance to get on our last nerve, let’s share what’s been making us laugh this week.

1.

nurse *hands me a urine specimen cup* the bathroom's over there

[5 minutes later]

me: *gives her the empty cup* i didn't need this, there was a toilet

— Joe Biden Press Release (Parody) (@joebldenpress) November 30, 2018

2.

I warned my wife the tattooist was no good and sure enough she came back with disappointment written all over her face.

— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) November 27, 2018

3.

There's only one explanation for the rhyme: "What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?" Blake was a Brummie.#WilliamBlake

— Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) November 28, 2018

4.

https://twitter.com/adamhess1/status/1067743260599349249

5.

“Hello Dignitas? Me again. Do you do countries?” pic.twitter.com/eJ0ORv5zQd

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 27, 2018

6.

He’s started off early pic.twitter.com/qqBVM4ZEMP

— Mnrrnt and 207 others (@Mnrrnt) November 26, 2018

7.

This "no bake Christmas treat" appears to be a sort of gingerbread River Styx. pic.twitter.com/EqUzaixgla

— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) November 26, 2018

8.

https://twitter.com/OkigboXL/status/1066150878418296833

9.

J.R.R. Tolkein's full name is
Jolkein Rolkein Rolkein Tolkein

— Matho (@MathoInc) November 26, 2018

10.

Trump: “Blah blah HILLARY blah blah WITCH HUNT blah blah FAKE NEWS MEDIA!! blah blah…”

Translation: “Oh shit what now God I hate this job I’m going to jail aren’t I where’s my Big Mac…”

— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) November 28, 2018

11.

Got my kids those new #Brexit advent calendars. Cost twenty times as much as normal ones, the promised chocolate is actually dried manure, and most of the doors are now sealed shut

— Dean Burnett (@[email protected]) (@garwboy) November 26, 2018

12.

Hahahahahahahaha Hahahahahaha,ah ah ah….hahahahahahahaha, some Muthafukka tried it,ahhhhahahahaha pic.twitter.com/qCgAR4VYKH

— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) November 28, 2018