Simply 27 sizzling-hot takes on Valentine’s Day
It’s St. Valentine’s Day, once a solemn celebration of a martyr who died horribly for his beliefs, now a way of propping up the greetings card, restaurant and chocolate industries – makes perfect sense. Whether you sent or received a Valentine’s Day token, our gift to you is this collection of musings on the special day.
1.
Some couples do Valentines Day, and single ladies do Galentines Day, but my husband & I do Shallentines Day. As in: “Shall we have sex, or shall we nap?” It keeps the mystery alive!
— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) February 14, 2019
2.
Valentine’s Day when dating: Godiva chocolates, dozen long stemmed red roses, dinner at La Boucherie
Valentine’s Day when married: “I bought you that deodorant you like.”
— John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) February 7, 2019
3.
Scattered petals on the floor leading to the bedroom for the missus to find but I don’t have any flowers so I’ve had to use chips
#Valentines pic.twitter.com/zdqwTO56BN— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 14, 2019
4.
My wife and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day but we do celebrate Valentine's Boxing Day on February 15th when supermarkets panic sell boxes of chocolates for 25p
— Chris PG ▶️ papaglitch.bsky.social (@_Papaglitch_) February 10, 2019
5.
When you realise your milk has a Valentine’s date but you don’t pic.twitter.com/9Z8dbyxdJ3
— Books and Wine (@booksandwine76) February 11, 2019
6.
As your goth valentine I promise to leave you alone while you read about the occult while secretly plotting my murder.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) February 11, 2019
7.
8.
I'm working on a Valentine's day poem.
I reckon rhyming boobs with pubes may be the kicker.
She'll be mine by Easter.— Matho (@MathoInc) February 12, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/jeyvkookie/status/1094549469998112769
10.
https://twitter.com/rmayemsinger/status/1095437497318891520
11.
https://twitter.com/Nu_Age_Bron/status/1092998969079328768
12.
https://twitter.com/BreakyWakey_Ben/status/1095279968341377024
13.
WARNING! If you receive a free Valentine's Day card from the Hackney Gazette, then open with extreme caution.#ValentinesDay pic.twitter.com/84He8fejYJ
— Andrew Bloch (@AndrewBloch) February 13, 2019
14.
via