Simply 17 funny takes on the coronavirus to balance out the news
Anybody pretending the Covid-19 outbreak isn’t a serious matter is an idiot – for example, Donald Trump, two days before it was declared a national emergency in the US.
But there’s a lot of scaremongering going on, and it’s definitely a good idea to keep the stress levels down, so here are 17 tongue-in-cheek comments on the crisis to lower your blood-pressure.
1.
QUARANTINE DIARY
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see out this pandemic
Day 1 + 45 minutes: I am in the supermarket because I wanted a Twix
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) March 12, 2020
2.
Honestly it’s not like Piccadilly Circus round here. pic.twitter.com/A3Esr6cPR1
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) March 13, 2020
3.
If coronavirus won’t stop me from biting my nails neither will putting this vinegar on them, mom
— Joey (@JoeyMulinaro) March 13, 2020
4.
Hi guys because of the toilet roll shortage everybody needs to seriously start putting their poo back up their bottom and keeping it there till this whole thing is sorted
— Matt Lucas HQ (@RealMattLucas) March 14, 2020
5.
It’s a good job I gave up shitting for lent.
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) March 15, 2020
6.
"No, Mr President, germs are very tiny. Microscopic. You can't see them. What you saw was a dog." pic.twitter.com/aH0e7K9WhC
— John Lurie (@lurie_john) March 14, 2020
7.
My wife walks into the kitchen.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asks.
“Err,” I reply, sheepishly. “It’s for a stockpiling joke.”
“For Twitter?”
“Yes, darling.”
Under her breath, she mumbles something that sounds like ‘dick’ then leaves the room. pic.twitter.com/sRiaWssqHD
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 14, 2020
8.
https://twitter.com/AhirShah/status/1239169811382321154?s=19
9.
HE'S BEEN! pic.twitter.com/YzKVxSQzCW
— Codename: Gary 7 (@Supervisor1_9_4) March 13, 2020