Our 25 favourite tweets from the past week
As all the days blend into one super-day we might decide to call Montuwednethfrisasunday, we can still look forward to Friday, because that’s when we gather our favourite funny non-coronavirus themed tweets and share them with you.
This week’s are as strong as ever. They go very well with a Hobnob.
1.
My 8-year-old once had a run-on sentence that lasted 3 days.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 25, 2020
2.
[invention of the soul patch]
friend: u missed a spot
guy: i don't care
— james (@donttouchjames) April 25, 2020
3.
Jack and Jill is a great little rhyme if you’re hoping to teach your kids the perils of doing chores and taking initiative
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) April 28, 2020
4.
best lyric of all time is when elton John was like “if I was a sculptor, but then again no” like pls I’m on the edge of my seat .. what were you going to do as a sculptor Elton!?!!!
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 28, 2020
5.
Kids these days never had to make up a fake profile to stalk their crush in chat rooms after school at their friend's house while she watched General Hospital because it was the only time you had access to AOL, and it shows…
— La Femme Fatali 🐞 (@toomanycommas3) April 30, 2020
6.
New Lynx body spray range:
* SHOWER CHAP
* URBAN DAISY
* MEADOW LAD
* PINE FIST
* CLEAN DADDY®
* WARBATH
* “MR BUTANE"
* BROVID-19— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) April 20, 2020
7.
Didn’t really think this through when I said yes did I? #AfterLife2 pic.twitter.com/iGYEfN4Amt
— Tom “Isolation King” Bennett (@newmanstings) April 26, 2020
8.
I’m locked out of my dogs Facebook account that i created in 2010 and they won’t let me back in unless I send over a copy of his drivers license
— soccerbabe2003 (@realemilyattack) April 26, 2020
9.
I hope I haven't upset Jeffrey Archer, I don't want to end up in his bad books.
— Tony Cowards (@TonyCowards) April 27, 2020
10.
a scientist being born pic.twitter.com/yp32zQphvt
— Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) April 30, 2020
11.
The cat definitely wrote the headline and subheadhttps://t.co/0rzSWA6g4y pic.twitter.com/atBMh92n1E
— Daniel MacEachern (@DanMacEachern) April 29, 2020
12.
He was so wise. pic.twitter.com/hOQ5X3ZWtf
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) April 26, 2020