Simply 23 jokes about Boris Johnson’s confusing new Covid-19 rules to help take the edge off

13.

Have Elon and Grimes had another kid? pic.twitter.com/TiAH0UlZNy

— @[email protected] (@gdimelow) May 11, 2020

14.

Do I have to get my sons & myself temporary jobs on a building site so I can see them?

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 10, 2020

15.

https://twitter.com/tompeck/status/1259546589175205890?s=20

16.

But I don’t want to see my parents in the park

— Godspeed You Black Tamperer (ft Maya) (@twlldun) May 11, 2020

17.

Step 1: man in hard hat watches silently as someone rides bicycle into your nan

Step 2: the children flee pic.twitter.com/EL1cAffECv

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 10, 2020

18.

Boris Johnsons speech in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/g3frwXNXJ4

— Harry (@wroetoshaw) May 11, 2020

19.

Just saw what I thought was a tall man but it was actually three viruses on each other’s shoulders in a long coat #StayAlert

— Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) May 11, 2020

20.

It's very simple. You can sit next to someone on the tube as long as they're not your mum.

— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) May 11, 2020

21.

I got distracted for a second, forgot to be alert and the virus stole my house keys and called me a nerd. https://t.co/66mMecwZuW

— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) May 11, 2020

22.

Things more effective than "Stay Alert":
A chocolate teapot
Priti Patel's empathy training
Aston Villa's back line
Uri Geller's psychic powers
Twitter's handling of Nazis
Boris Johnson's preferred method of birth control

— Oonagh (@Okeating) May 9, 2020

23.

you may go to the park to visit a tree if you answer me these questions three, what is full of holes but still holds water, what gets wetter the more it dries, what is always in front of you but cannot be seen, riddle me these then go as you please

— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) May 11, 2020

READ MORE

It must be bad because even Phillip Schofield can’t take Boris Johnson anymore