This Telegraph guide to keeping warm without central heating got a right roasting – 13 favourite comebacks
To the Telegraph, where the paper was doing its bit to help readers cope with the cost of living crisis and in particular the soaring cost of energy by explaining how you could do without central heating entirely.
But don’t take our word for it, listen to an expert …
'I've lived without central heating for 10 years – here's how you can too'
After a decade of going without what many would consider a necessity, as energy bills rocket, @GeorgieR30 is glad she can live with the cold
🧵⬇️https://t.co/pcSUiuU7ro pic.twitter.com/hz3c3352SH
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
Here’s a little bit more detail …
✍️' “That’s terrible, how do you cope?” This is the reaction I get when I mention we don’t have central heating in our house,' writes Georgina Fullner.
'But after more than a decade of living without it, it no longer seems like a big deal' pic.twitter.com/M6Pfgan907
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
➡️'That is, until the upcoming winter of discontent loomed, with soaring energy bills and a cost of living crisis – and I realised that I’m a trailblazer'
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
✍️'This winter, I won’t be the only one feeling the cold. Almost a quarter of us will be turning off the heating and seven in 10 will be using our heating less, according to a recent report by regulator Ofgem' pic.twitter.com/CQqA9KHeYl
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
➡️'I’m not worried, though. I have cultivated a multifaceted strategy for living without heating'
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
✍️'This includes dressing like The Lady in the Van, electric blankets and the devil’s work that is an old woodburner' pic.twitter.com/3qoSGj8SZH
— Telegraph Life (@TelegraphLife) October 17, 2022
That’s quite enough of that (and if you’re in the mood for this sort of thing you can pay for the full piece here).
But really it’s all about the replies and it’s fair to say it got a proper roasting.
1.
Fuck. Me. Backwards.
She's sitting next to a fucking wood burner. Many modern homes aren't designed to accommodate wood burners, even if you can afford to install one. Wood isn't cheap now either, FFS.
The Telegraph is digging through the bottom of the barrel again. https://t.co/M8tQKfkZ1k
— Lady 🐝 Bee 🐝 Middlemast-Neal #FuckYouBigots (@Mistyswoman) October 18, 2022
2.
The answer, it turns out, is a woodburning stove, electric heaters and electric blankets. So: you can manage the cold without installing, using and paying for central heating if you install, use and pay for other forms of heating. https://t.co/rRHyuLR56B
— Tom Hamilton (@thhamilton) October 18, 2022
3.
On other pages:
Windows – are they really necessary?
Who needs a mortgage anyway?
Why food is a just a ‘lefty’ luxury.— Rob B (@RobBfromDerby) October 18, 2022
4.
I've read the article. She lives on a really rough estate in the north of…no of course she doesn't, she lives in a three storey house on the edge of the Cotswolds in Oxfordshire and has a room that looks like this. Truly the voice of poverty in a time of fuel crisis https://t.co/brs3DIwkjo pic.twitter.com/6AkPTNxogg
— Mr Demos of Pnyx (@gem_ste) October 18, 2022
5.
More middle class fetishisation of rural poverty as a lifestyle choice is it https://t.co/4xHbceC9UI
— Florence of Northumbria (@FlorenceHRScott) October 18, 2022
6.
Wood as heating fuel is currently priced at an energy equivalent of over £0.30 per kWh, gas at £0.10 per kWh, so a wood burner really is the Marie Antoinette alternative to central heating.
Wood also emits vastly more pollution. pic.twitter.com/lrpXq0NV7U— Rob Fawcett (@mellonfactory) October 18, 2022
7.
"Our woodburner was designed to heat the whole house" says woman who claims not to have central heating. 🙃 https://t.co/4TtrCwwiYD
— Owen Williams 🏴 (@OwsWills) October 18, 2022
8.
BRB just ripping the radiators out of my 1 bed rented flat and jamming one of these bad boys in instead. My landlord will thank me in the long run. Hopefully the upstairs neighbours won’t mind me cutting a hole through their flat for the exhaust pipe pic.twitter.com/0YQSja8ntg
— The RMT Union Spookie (@lobjob) October 18, 2022
9.
https://twitter.com/belledejour_uk/status/1582269276462862336?s=20&t=p1L9W_FObbH205VBEsP1VA
10.
Massive woodburner in the photo https://t.co/CqW5SfHmeP
— j (@jrc1921) October 18, 2022
11.
Poverty porn. Survivalism dressed up as lifestyle. https://t.co/e2llMTFgKR
— Danny Kelly (@dannykellywords) October 18, 2022
12.
This is basically an entire article where the main advice is to put a jumper on.
— Jim Cognito (@JimCognito2016) October 18, 2022
13.
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 18, 2022
And there was one thing that really got people’s attention. Have you spotted it yet?
Lovely bit of side eye from the dog https://t.co/xP06b6Mr1V
— Christina Martin (@christinamartin) October 18, 2022
Sharing for the dog's face and nothing else. https://t.co/sR9tK7bKLD
— Sam Missingham (@samatlounge) October 18, 2022
https://twitter.com/iarentspartacus/status/1582279288555831296?s=20&t=p1L9W_FObbH205VBEsP1VA
The dog's face, as it sits next to the massive woodburner and hears its owner preaching about the joys of no central heating. https://t.co/bGMyvYkh1e
— Donaeld The Unlaebelled Paerody Aeccount (@donaeldunready) October 18, 2022
even the dog is giving the author of this article the side eye https://t.co/xsjgL68GAZ
— wikihowtologout.bsky.social (@WikiHowToLogout) October 18, 2022
Just for balance and all that, here’s someone else who lived without central heating – and what they made of it.
I did two winters in a row without heating and it was fucking bleak. I used to get home and keep my coat on and get in bed with Poppy. Had to type with one hand so the other could be warm under the covers and swap them in and out. Washing just didn't dry at all. Mold everywhere https://t.co/cKozSBY039
— Katy Montgomerie 🦗 (@KatyMontgomerie) October 18, 2022
To conclude.
You woke millennial snowflakes don't need central heating!
You just need:
– Cashmere joggers!
– A woodburner! (only 8% of the UK has one)
– Electric heaters!
– Electric blankets! (est. £30-£70)
– Linen draught excluders!
– White Company thermals!(All cited in this 'article') pic.twitter.com/ds9ErBeKeq
— Best for Britain (@BestForBritain) October 18, 2022
And this.
'I've lived without central heating for 10 years – here's how you can too' pic.twitter.com/y2UZwSiKEa
— Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) October 18, 2022
READ MORE
Kay Burley took aim, squeezed the trigger, and owned cabinet minister James Heappey into next week
Source Twitter @TelegraphLife
