27 hilarious dad jokes to help take the edge off
Over on Twitter there’s a rather fabulous account called @Dadsaysjokes which, as the name suggests, is full of fabulous dad jokes.
You can follow them on Twitter here, subscribe to them on YouTube here and find out a whole lot more about them here.
And to help take the edge off, these 27 are just fabulous.
1.
My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons
to leave you, plus your obsession with
Tennis.I replied, "That's 15 love."
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 14, 2022
2.
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident.
They put me in the ICU.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 30, 2022
3.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
No sun.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 27, 2022
4.
Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium.
Me: 0Mg.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) August 14, 2022
5.
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) November 14, 2022
6.
I have a Polish friend who is a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) September 9, 2022
7.
I made a graph of all my past relationships.
It has an ex axis and a why axis.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 11, 2022
8.
I am giving up drinking for a month.
Sorry that came out wrong.
I am giving up. Drinking for a month.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 8, 2022
9.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 4, 2022
10.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler.
Ever since, all I can think of is how to win her back.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 4, 2022
11.
Me and my friends put a band together, we named it 999 megabytes.
Still don’t have a gig though.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) December 1, 2022
12.
5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants.
Now they’re tenants.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 15, 2022
13.
The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn’t share the flatbread recipe
Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 13, 2022
