17 quietly hilarious tweets from the Lousy Librarian account

We love libraries and we love librarians. The Lousy Librarian Twitter account shares their world-weary sneak peeks into what it’s like to work there, and we love that too.

Here are 17 favourite tweets.

1.

"Must be fun being a librarian, where you just read all day."
"Must be fun being a pastry chef, where you just eat cake all day."

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) November 14, 2022

2.

“Hi, I’m looking for legal stuff?”
“Okay, do you think you need books, digital resources, or phone numbers of legal services?”
“I think I can best answer that question by launching into a detailed ten-minute description of all my problems with my ex-wife over the past six years.”

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) December 15, 2022

3.

"Welcome to the library, can I help you"
“Yeah I need you to make copies and and find the forms I need from this website and print them and also could I get a pen and an envelope"
“Shall I pick up your dry cleaning too?”
“Oh my gosh do you guys do that, that would be amazing"

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) February 8, 2023

4.

A patron approaches the reference desk looking disoriented.
"So… is this the library?"
"It sure is."
"Well, this isn't where I want to be."
"You and me both."

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) February 3, 2023

5.

"Hi I was calling to ask if a certain person is at that library right now?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Why not? I thought the library was supposed to be all about information."
"Well, if it's any consolation, I'd be happy to tell you the atomic weight of carbon."

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) February 6, 2023

6.

A patron leaving the library said "Bye now!"
I said, "Bye, hope you did everything you needed to do here!"
They said "Oh yeah, it was great. Had a little food, took a little nap… that's what the library's for, right?"
"Well, no, sort of explicitly not, but have a nice day!"

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) December 1, 2022

7.

“Don’t you have this book anywhere?”
“Not here, no.”
“Is it in the back?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Is it in the basement?”
“No.”
“Aren’t you going to go down and check?”
“Well, that would take a while.”
“How long would it take?”
“I mean first we’d have to install a basement.”

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) February 10, 2023

8.

Here's the deal, kid: I won't say anything about how you're probably supposed to be in school right now, and you don't say anything about how I'm scrolling AITA at the reference desk

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) October 31, 2022

9.

Library patron: Do you have any of the books on this list of 10-40 titles?
Me, after gathering them: Looks like we do. Did you want to check these out or use them here?
Patron: Oh, neither. I just wanted to know if you had them.

— Lousy Librarian (@LousyLibrarian) December 22, 2022