Author Marian Keyes sent this fabulous thread about working at M&S at Christmas wildly viral again and it’s simply brilliant
12.
There’s also no point of ringing him and asking him to come closer because my Dad comes home from work every day and puts his phone in the kitchen drawer & that’s where it stays until he leaves for work the next morning.
Does this defeat the purpose of a mobile?
Yes, yes it does— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
13.
Anyway. I schlepp this bounty all the way to where we are supposed to meet and I see that he is literally pacing, at 11.00 Pm in December, outside his car.
He sees me and he looks like a husband waiting for his wife’s operation results.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
14.
When we went through the shopping bags in the boot of our Corolla I swear I got some inkling of what it must be like to win Wimbledon and then do that thing where you climb the stands to hug your parents.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
15.
He was instantly like “Rich, this is too much. How much did you spend? The whole idea is that this was supposed to cost less!”
I showed him the receipt and we ended up driving home blasting Springsteen the whole way.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
16.
Yes, Dad had to start prepping and cooking a turkey at 11.30 the night before but the next day we ate like Kings.
Or at the very least, people from Dalkey.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
17.
Anyways, this Christmas is probably going to be a bit shit in comparison so it was nice to reminisce about a better one.
Also, I got a Creative Zen MP3 player which I’m still convinced is the pinnacle of music technology.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
18.
Reading over this, we come across a bit like the Cratchetts.
We weren’t needy or anything. We just couldn’t turn down the opportunity for cost-price pork crackling.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
19.
I’ve not known fear quite like writing this after a bottle of wine and then waking up to this many notifications.
For those of you asking, my dad is very much still with us.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
20.
I just called him and told him about how he went viral on Twitter and his reaction was to take a beat, say “that’s nice” and then ask what I got mum for Christmas.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
21.
Never forget pic.twitter.com/0nnmRMkWEb
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
22.
The replies to this are equal parts lovely dad memories and people furious that the Creative Zen lost out to the iPod.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
23.
I’ve nothing to plug but maybe consider throwing a donation here?
I try to donate on Toy Show Day to assuage the guilt of being so mean to children on Twitter.“Make a donation to Barnardos” https://t.co/ytKxTMPJxl
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
24.
Linking the disappointing sequel for ease (and shameless self promotion).https://t.co/U4d6qX5iEM
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) December 2, 2021
25.
If you would like to put a pale, flu-ravaged face and voice to this story then I had a lovely chat with @frankcottrell_b about it on his Insta.
I did a reading of it and then he showed me a clip of his, much better, reading. https://t.co/R92voBKSWg— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) December 14, 2022
26.
Frank was nice enough to ask me to read out whatever this is at the Penny Readings, a charity event for The Reader.
It’s a great foundation that brings books and reading into people’s lives so, if you have the means, please think about donatinghttps://t.co/GI4Rc9ajxW— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) December 14, 2022
27.
If you enjoyed the above well then, as a direct result of this thread and all the support and lovely comments people have posted through the years, I have a novel coming out in 2024.
Different story. Same dumb sense of humor. https://t.co/zSVSwYh7dy
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 24, 2023
Here’s what Richey said to Marian after she sent it viral all over again.
Thanks as always Marian. There’s a book with your name on it when it comes out or your choice of kidneys.
— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) December 14, 2023
Richey’s new book, Spirit Level, will be out in April next year. Follow @RichyCraven here! and find out a whole bunch more about him here!
Source @RichyCraven
