This tale of an M&S worker leaving it until December 24 to buy a discount Christmas dinner is going viral again – and it’s a feelgood festive classic
It’s Christmas Eve, so what better time to revisit this brilliant story by Irish writer Richy Craven which he originally shared during the dark times of lockdown Christmas 2020.
Fellow Irishman Joe O’Shea – @josefoshea – shared Richy’s thread, calling it ‘The Greatest Modern Irish Christmas Story, God Bless Us, One and All!’
And what a joy the story still is. Strap yourself in.
1.
The most stressed out I’ve ever been about Christmas was when I was 16 and I got my first ever job, working at M&S in Dundrum.
As soon as I started I kept hearing these myths about the Christmas Eve Waste Sale, where all the food that wasn’t sold on the 24th was marked down 90%.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
2.
Everyone I worked with kept telling me not to get anything in beforehand because there was so much left that you could get your whole Christmas meal after the shop had shut on the 24th.
Dad & I argued for weeks about it. Going back & forward on whether to get a turkey beforehand— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
3.
Eventually, we decided we were going to risk it.
I was working until close on Xmas Eve anyway so my Dad said we might as well give it a go.
Before I went into work that day he told me “Just at least try and get a turkey, no matter what happens”— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
4.
It was the most stressed I’ve ever been working in retail (which is saying something). I worked in Home & Gifts so every chance I got I would sneak over to Foods and see how busy it was, how many turkeys were left.
It was so busy I was convinced that there’s be nothing left.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
5.
Eventually closing time rolls around and all the staff clock out and wait for the sale to start.
Now comes my next heart attack. I thought it was just whoever was working Christmas Eve that was able to go but the entire workforce has trickled in since closing and is waiting.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
6.
I’m 16 years old and I feel like my family’s entire Christmas is riding on me.
I swear to myself that, no matter what happens, I’m going to come out of this with at least a turkey. No matter who I have to bludgeon to do it.
Even if it means not having a job on the 26th.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
7.
The main Foods manager comes out and ceremoniously announces that we can go in and I stick the head down and charge.
I don’t go quite as far as to trample anyone but I can’t say I wouldn’t have itf it had come to it.
I’m convinced it’s going to be an all out brawl and…— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
8.
It’s like something out of a Harry Potter Christmas scene or the end of Fantastic Mr. Fox.
There is *so* much food left. Everyone there could have taken 2 turkeys and there still would have been some left.
This was Christmas 2006 btw. The height of the Celtic tiger.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
9.
I grab a Turkey the size of an American toddler and then I’m just kind of at a loss.
There’s really was so much left over. I ended up grabbing sausage stuffing, croquette potatoes, duck-fat roasters and candied parsnips and carrots.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
10.
I start to drift towards the tills and manager asks me what I’m doing.
I think I’ve taken too much, there’s some spending limit I haven’t heard of.
Instead he’s asking me why I’m wasting food and throws pork crackling and sticky toffee pudding into my basket.— Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020