‘What is the best ‘Jay from Inbetweeners’-level brag you have ever heard?’ – 21 incredibly obvious porkies

Karen Dickinson. Updated April 4th, 2025

12.

‘Man I know claimed the government got in touch with him asking if they could use his accounting system because it was so superior. He’s bankrupted 3 businesses. Also regularly claims to have been headhunted on LinkedIn but turns them all down because he’s ‘happy where he is’.’
–ConstantPurpose2419

13.

‘There was a big house fire where I grew up and a girl in school claimed it was her house and she saved her siblings from the fire. She told the teachers, and when I pointed out it was in fact my uncle’s house, where he lived alone, I was told off for accusing her of lying.’
–hyper-casual

14.

‘A guy I knew claimed to have invented a perpetual motion machine. Back in the day, he was in secret talks with Amstrad to sell it to them for £5 million, but it all fell through. All he can tell us is that it harnesses the power of magnets. He can’t say any more because it’s been classified by the government.’
–macros1980

15.

‘Guy in my form claimed ‘My dad drove from Aylesbury to Edinburgh in 30 mins’. When pressed he said ‘He knows all the back roads’. It then became a group project as the rest of us in the form got out and OS map and a calculator and worked out that his dad needed to be doing 600 miles an hour on a perfectly straight road with no traffic, lights, roadworks etc.’
–ay_lamassu

16.

‘I remember when I was in secondary school there was this kid who used to try boasting that his dad either owned certain companies or was high up in certain companies, like Microsoft. It got to the point where whenever his friends and I saw him, we’d be like ‘So err, how’s your dad doing what with owning Microsoft?’. He started getting pissed off after a while which made it all the funnier.’
–TRFKTA

17.

‘My dad convinced me he played for England until I was about 15 when my mum eventually told me that he just got pissed in Spain and played football on the beach.’
–Supergoose5000

18.

‘Guy I knew once said his dad used to run guns. That his demolition/handyman work was just a front.

Edit: We live in a small sleepy place with 0 guns.’
–daytrippermc

19.

‘I met a guy who said he was the drummer from the band The Cult. Being sceptical I looked it up and that drummer had died 20 years previously. He said he faked his own death.’
–EconomyDisastrous409

20.

‘A guy in my local was trying to claim he used to be in GCHQ’s IT department, not outrageous in itself but he kept going on about being based in London. When I pointed out that ‘Aren’t GCHQ based in Cheltenham?’ he replied ‘Oh yeah well, obviously I was based in Cheltenham when I was with them, but I also spent a bit of time in MI5, and that’s why I was in London’. Apparently the job was very stressful so he made the decision to change careers, going from IT work in the interest of national security to… being one of those people you see in high-vis suits at roadworks not doing a great deal.’
–meslashone

21.

‘Lad I used to know has told me that he was expelled from school for sleeping with an attractive teacher, got hit by lightning and the electricity charged his phone, his sister’s partner taught him a special army technique to not feel pain, his house got blown up by an RPG and that he was run over and his head smashed through the windscreen but he just got back up and walked off.’
–PuzzleheadedAd822

Source r/AskUK Image Screenshot

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