25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to the Trump Tariff Big Quiz timeline. Will he or won’t he crash an economy near you? Has he or hasn’t he tipped his friends off so they can scoop up the billions lost from people’s pensions? How much will he increase China’s tariffs by midnight?
What a time to be alive.
In much happier news, Twitter’s finest have been doing what they do best – being funny. Here’s what caught our eye this week.
1.
TV doctor: the patient has a subarachnoid bleed
me, nodding: under the spiders
— lesbian mothman (@verysmallriver) April 4, 2025
2.
CHIEF PALEONTOLOGIST: So I need a name for this giant prehistoric shark
GARY: How about Megalodon
CHIEF: That's a badass name
ME: *crumpling my note that says 'Sea-Rex'* Fuck you Gary
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) April 9, 2025
3.
At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting
— LL Gabagool Jay (@JayTorch1031) April 8, 2025
4.
pilates is so humbling. one second you’re fine and the next you’re drenched in sweat and your entire body is shaking simply because the instructor asked you to do eight more arm circles
— chase (@_chase_____) April 4, 2025
5.
The most difficult person to please on the face of the planet is a dental hygienist
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) April 6, 2025
6.
ISS about to get added to the tariff list if they try to bring these home pic.twitter.com/mBdDBfUKGj
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) April 8, 2025
7.
Belinda Carlisle & me? We dream the same dreams, we want the same things.
She keeps outbidding me on eBay
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) April 9, 2025
8.
If this is about a divorce we’re not going through this again. pic.twitter.com/eKuQQQZqoQ
— Brian Spilei (@BrianSpanner1) April 10, 2025
9.
Thanks for the weighted blanket. My nightmares about being buried alive have now been imbued with a new and horrific je ne sais quoi.
— Bob Phillips (@BobTheSuit) April 9, 2025
10.
The hardest part about going back to work in person is trying not to starve to death between breakfast and lunch.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 9, 2025
11.
boy, they’ve really let it go https://t.co/VbwML6FEIR
— Emo Philips (@EmoPhilips) April 10, 2025
12.
My kid: Mommy, why am I sick again?
Me: *thinking back to him doing the worm on the floor at walmart* probably because you didn’t finish your broccoli last night.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 10, 2025