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Jon Stewart’s scathing assessment of Trump’s Alcatraz plan is the Takedown of the Day

Oonagh Keating. Updated May 8th, 2025

You’ll no doubt be aware of Donald Trump’s hare-brained scheme to reopen the former maximum-security prison Alcatraz, which is now a very lucrative museum. Here’s what he posted on Truth Social.

REBUILD, AND OPEN ALCATRAZ! For too long, America has been plagued by vicious, violent, and repeat Criminal Offenders, the dregs of society, who will never contribute anything other than Misery and Suffering. When we were a more serious Nation, in times past, we did not hesitate to lock up the most dangerous criminals, and keep them far away from anyone they could harm. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. No longer will we tolerate these Serial Offenders who spread filth, bloodshed, and mayhem on our streets. That is why, today, I am directing the Bureau of Prisons, together with the Department of Justice, FBI, and Homeland Security, to reopen a substantially enlarged and rebuilt ALCATRAZ, to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders. We will no longer be held hostage to criminals, thugs, and Judges that are afraid to do their job and allow us to remove criminals, who came into our Country illegally. The reopening of ALCATRAZ will serve as a symbol of Law, Order, and JUSTICE. We will, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

And this was his on-brand word salad when asked what was behind the idea.

The excellent Jon Stewart has now weighed in on the plan, and it’s as hilariously savage as it gets.

See for yourself.

“Although, I guess, any opportunity for Trump to open a prison and simultaneously colse a museum is too good to pass up.”

He knows him so well. Here’s how TikTok reacted.

1.

Why stop at Alcatraz? Why not Arkham Asylum or Azkaban, since we’re over here endorsing fantasies.
Laura

2.

Imagine being a museum manager and getting promoted to Warden overnight.
Branch

3.

Can we just Truman show trump so he thinks he’s president and we can all improve our lives/ country?
Rachelle

4.

Hear me out… have him visit the site. Then sneak away and take the boat.
Frau Dingenskirchens

5.

He said that nobody escaped from Alcatraz. Doesn’t he know Sean Connery?
Ogaris

6.

The money from the Alcatraz museum goes to the National Parks Service. Just another way to defund them.
Tatsuma

7.

‘When contacted for a response, Alcatraz sent us a coloring sheet.’
Pastor Mouse

8.

Too expensive to run/repair in 1964. Should be super cheap now!
NoName

9.

It’s gonna be the new Mar-a-Lago.
thisismy_username

10.

This whole administration is like a SNL skit.
klyn4993

11.

Perfectly obvious he watched ‘Escape from Alcatraz’ and then his thoughts said “what if.” Thank feck it wasn’t ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ he was watching.
TheWire

12.

Are ppl regularly escaping from other prisons lmao like what is going on?
honeybakedham

BKNYtoday had an idea.

It’s a good idea. Hear me out. Anyone with over 33 felonies goes there.

They could keep it as a museum and still send Trump there.

READ MORE

Donald Trump has announced his plan to reopen Alcatraz to house ‘the most dangerous criminals’ – 21 damning verdicts

Source The Daily Show Image Screengrab