‘What is something Brits say they do, but then do a totally different thing?’ – 22 completely contradictory statements

12.

‘Well I tell my dentist I floss, look him dead in the eye and say it. We both know that I only flossed that morning in a panic at going for a check up. It’s a full on Larry David stare off we have going on before he does a sigh and hands me the cup of whatevathehellthatbluestuff is and I swirl it round and dribble half down my face cos I’m classy like that.’
–thattallbrit

13.

‘Say I’m going to have just five more minutes in bed then get up. An hour later I wake from a hideous dream and feel worse than ever.’
–Scared_Experience688

14.

”I’m taking the dog for a walk’. Means either pub or sitting on a bench for a while.’
–Kind_Ad5566

15.

‘A quiet pint always turns into waking up covered in kebab, maybe in your own bed.’
–Immorals1

16.

”I’m not being rude, but…’ followed by something incredibly fucking rude.’
–PerpetualCheer

17.

”I’m just going to have 1 or 2 drinks to be sociable’. Cut to them stumbling down the high street at 4am with a traffic cone on their head.’
–FighterJock412

18.

”Let’s grab a coffee soon’ – no coffee is scheduled by either party.’
–urgirlfromnextdoor

19.

”Right, I’m off, bye!’ You then proceed to have another full conversation before saying ‘Ahhh right, I’m off anyway’ before proceeding to have another full conversation. It is known to sometimes take five ‘Right, I’m off’s before you are actually off.’
–itsfourinthemornin

20.

”I’m not a racist, I’m just worried about the erosion of English culture and values.’

Makes absolutely not contribution to English culture or values whatsoever.’
–OilEmotional1389

21.

‘Say they deeply care about the price of Freddos rising but they haven’t bought a Freddo as their snack of choice since they were about eight years old.’
–Basic-Tap4516

22.

‘We’ll have to do this again sometime’ is basically the British equivalent of a restraining order.’
–NotSmarterThanA8YO

Source r/AskUK Image Screenshot